Idle Idol
by Chaos herself
Summary: Several years after Asuma's death, Hidan suddenly reappears in search for who had beaten him then: Shikamaru. However, the genius soon finds himself in a rather awkward situation facing the fanatic manslayer again... Mainpairs: ShikaHidan, ShikaKurenai
1. Chapter 1

**_Hi, everyone!_**

**_While watching my favorite episodes of Naruto Shippuuden (nr. 76-89) for the n-th time, inspiration suddenly struck me like: "Why didn't I notice in the first place?!" That's why my first appearance in this fandom is a story, which begins with the inspiring quota from episode 88, runtime 10min 18sec._**

_**I'm quite aware, my pairings are rather unusual this time. I hope, you don't mind though. At first, I found it strange myself. ****But during writing I came to liking them quite a bit. ^^;**_

**_The storyline takes place several years after Asuma's death. Therefore, Asuma's son is an OC of mine (still nameless, that poor child. duh.)._**

**_Disclaimer:_ _Naruto Shippuuden and its characters are not owned by me. And I don't make any money of it._**

**_Reviews are always welcome. ^.~_**

**_Have fun!_**

**_Chaos_**

**Idle Idol**

„_Your bullshit doesn't scare me. See, you and I have very dif__ferent beliefs. I believe in the Will of Fire. _

_And that pathetic Lord Jashin or whatever isn't your God anymore._

_I am. _

_The only one bringing down vengeance is me."_

Those were the last words he heard, as the impact of what seemed to be His great ordeal erupted down on him with an ear shattering explosion and buried him in the twilight of Gods. Ever since they had been echoing in his mind, had been bouncing from the walls of boulders and mud, that had become his cage of utter darkness, carving every bit of his thoughts with maddening emotions:

His world had been shaken by that infernal day, his whole credo had been questioned to an extreme point, he had never figured possible…and seed of doubts had painfully been sown deep down with him in the grounds.

For eternity it seemed, that he had been lying still and silently at the bottom of the abyss by now, waiting, doing penance, enduring the punishments of his God…

Yet, he had understood his sin, his foolish blindness, due to time and being forced to actually _think _everything through: finally his God's words had enlightened him to the right path, his belief stood unshakably strong as ever again!

He was ready to gnaw his way through the dirt and make his offering as a sign of greatest worshipping to his God…


	2. Chapter 2

It didn't last long until Shikamaru found out: five of his deer had been slain, another seven had been severely injured and one was missing, there was blood all over the place, the ground in the woods of his clan had been dug up, where he once had sealed the remains of Hidan's body… Silently cursing under his breath, the Shinobi rushed back and reported the troubling news immediately to the Hokage. Pretty alarmed by Hidan's escape, two set-of-four teams were formed to recapture and eliminate the almost forgotten Akatsuki member.

Meanwhile Shikamaru found himself literally grounded at home, for he was sure to be targeted. However, having to stay put with Hidan at his heels made him feel most troubled: though being lazy as always, he strongly wished to go hunt that guy down again! Somewhat grumpily he murmured complaints to himself while killing time on his own on his bare porch with some Shogi.

He very well _understood_ the reasons, but he didn't like everyone to be busy on the manhunt, that he felt was _his_ and only his duty – even if it was for the sake and safety of every Konoha citizen!

Moreover Shikamaru worried about those most dear to him, if he kept on staying close by in Konoha while Hidan might very well find out his whereabouts. He was determined: Whatever the cost, the Shinobi did not have to let that man get any closer neither to his wife, nor to his step-son, who he cared for just as much as he would have done for his own children!

Therefore he prepared for the fight even more carefully and deeply well-considered than he had done on that very day, he had sworn vengeance on Hidan and Kakuzu. For he expected the immortal one not to hold back in the slightest, if he intended striking back on Shikamaru. Though he figured the Akatsuki's plan probably not as smart and cunning as his former partner would have plotted it, but who knew. Hidan had had a lot of time to come up with something against him…

A faint smile sneaked onto his lips as he was greeted with a warm and cheerful good-morning-hug when the almost seven years old boy jumped right into his arms. Running a hand through smooth, dark fuzzy hair he once more recognized how much he wanted to protect the young orphan, to who he had always fulfilled both roles: his Sensei and father.

In the utterly bright and innocent eyes of Asuma's child he saw everything he needed to activate his own inheritance he had been given by his former Sensei at once: the Will of Fire burned and flared incredibly strong within his soul he almost felt its overwhelming energy and heat rushing through his veins and tickling underneath his skin.

He would not let anyone do any harm to this boy, ever! Not over his bloody dead body!

Also Shikamaru was clear about defending Kurenai with the same effort, though being well aware of the older women's great skills as a Kunoichi.

After Asuma had passed away, he used to support and console the pregnant woman in any way he could muster: he exactly knew the loss had struck Asuma's lover as hard as it made himself suffer. In conclusion he was there for her, anytime, and helped her out raising her child from the beginning, living with them. As time passed, his own wounds proceeded on healing, too, by being surrounded by them both, for they included him in their family life. It made him feel at ease. And Kurenai even grew to feel comfortable in his arms as she was snuggling to his side on lonely and thoughtful nights.

They had not been sharing beds for a too long period of time since, when he simply agreed to her proposal then: it only seemed natural to do so, for her son had already accepted him as a kind of 'parent' all along…and both adults admitted, that they did care for each other.

As Kurenai left to take her son to Konoha Academy, he gave her a soft and tiny kiss goodbye on her cheek that always made her blush in this particular cute way he always liked to cuddle her for, but did not.

His silent advices regarding the lurking danger were quite firm, though, and she responded accordingly: they would place their further actions with great caution.

In any case Shikamaru firstly would be polishing his strategies and maybe doing some extra training while waiting for Hidan to appear all by himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Hidan felt greater than ever. A broad grin spread on his face, as he approached further towards his aim. He didn't even feel much out of practice when slaughtering those fucking persistent deer in the name of his God three days ago. The smell of blood and the taste of raw flesh made him feel so much alive as he hungrily gorged his first meal on the glorious day of final freedom! How he had missed that!

But for now, Hidan had a greater and most holy target to fulfil: his God demanded an offering worth His obscure greatness! And he would fucking thankfully please Him!

Rushing faster and faster silently through the woods, dodging and evading search troops hands down, he almost couldn't hold those roars of joyful laughter and eruptions of chuckling in his scarred throat. He literally sensed, He was just close by…

Then he passed Konoha gates by dawn just as easily as cutting a crying child's throat, secretly searching for the one he was looking for, who he longed to face once again for so long! It was pure coincidence, the immortal was silently splatteringly shutting up a guard on the roofs, when his bloodthirsty, anticipating eyes caught sight of that someone, he was searching for: there in the warm and golden evening sun He was sitting calmly like a Buddha playing some sort of board game on the shiny wooden porch above a softly swaying bed of bright red poppies.

Hidan blurted out a short laughter in triumph, then hopped right down into the poppy garden tugging the bleeding corpse along, and greeted the other man with a grin from ear to ear. "Found You!"


	4. Chapter 4

Even after such a long time Shikamaru would always and anywhere have recognized that shrieking laughter of the maniac who had killed Asuma. Yet, he never thought to hear his voice again.

Now, he was facing that very man after more than six years. Hidan looked almost the same, he noticed, though solely having his hips and shoulders cloaked in short fluffy fur of his missing deer, as he could easily tell by the majestic antlers of the familiar animal's head being worn like a hood. The dead body of the guard at Hidans bare feet was squashing and crushing Kurenai's beloved and fragile poppies.

The Konoha Shinobi stood with grim fierce expression, ready to fight. Chakra was flowing lurking to come out and strike with strong pulse inside him. "I have been awaiting you", he simply said looking down at his enemy, silently thankful for his wife and step-son to be late.

Hands on hips Hidan somewhat proudly shouted: "Long time no see, Lord Shikamaru! I knew Your fucking Greatness would foresee me coming to praise Your little holy ass…accept my offering, there!" The scarcely clad man pointed at the corpse in the poppy field, as Shikamaru could do nothing but gape.

"What the heck?!"

Was Hidan kidding him? Or was he eventually trying to trick him by that? But the look in Hidan's eyes showed nothing the like: the man, he thought to come for killing him, simply stood there staring upward at him somewhat idolizingly anticipating and admiring, leaving the impression of a puppy bringing home some 'hunting trophy' and waiting for a titbit and a pat on the head. The former Akatsuki member was not joking, was he? "-The fuck, are You waiting for?! See, he's all fresh and good: I picked the damn best offering for Your sake and yet Your Highness don't even move an eyelid to bless me! Is Lord Shikamaru approving it or is He not, huh?!" Hidan snapped impatiently with a slight pout curling his lips.

Of all possible things, Shikamaru did not expect _that_ situation to happen - and it caught him off guard!

"Err, yeah…well-…", he murmured with an awkward feeling in his stomach, scratching the back of his head, wondering if he was actually daydreaming.

Somehow he figured, he better played along – who knew what Hidan might come up with otherwise… "So, Hidan…you think, I am what – your God? What has become of that Jashin guy you were so fond of?", he asked still a bit puzzled.

"Hell, yes!", nodded Hidan with great emphasis spreading his arms, as if it was just that obvious. "Your fucking ordeal on that fateful day had finally opened my damned eyes; Your blessed words have enlightened me – or better: they led me into the shadows, Lord Shikamaru. I now believe in You and only You, I always will! I hope, You have recognized Your holy Symbols on my new clothing", he proudly announced with solemn certainty and showing off his barbarian outfit.

"Ah, yeah…I suppose, it's alright then", the sudden idol replied a bit embarrassed by that strange praising confession. "Though you really should not cause any more harm to my deer ever again, you know…", he frowned. Hidan's eyes widened. "Y-You don't like it?! Then I'll fucking never do it again or else Your great vengeance may smite me!", he quickly promised. "I shall prepare Lord Shikamaru another offering as reparation-…" "No! Hold it, Hidan", Shikamaru swiftly flung up his hands to stop him. "I…I don't want you to actually offer me human sacrifices. If you want to please me that badly, there's no way going about stabbing people. Do you understand?" Hopingly the Shinobi tried his influence on the killer…and found him looking kind of desperately helpless towards him: "No fucking killing?! Stop kidding! Then, how the heck am I supposed to do my worshipping Lord Shikamaru, if I can't make any proper offerings?! How can You do that to me!"

Shikamaru took a deep breath. "How troublesome…" This situation was so totally abnormal and bizarre he hardly could believe what was going on. Even the absurd idea of actually 'keeping' Hidan and making him do troublesome housework came appealingly to his mind. He pushed that aside, though.

But maybe he _could_ keep that religious fanatic under control just by his mere words: he was his _God_ after all, wasn't he?!

He only had to explain to Kurenai later…and maybe he should better inform the Hokage, too.

"Well, Hidan…how about, let's say, cleaning up that mess in the garden, for example? I'd really be happy, if I hadn't to explain to Kurenai why this field looks like a hippo had body slammed some stray cats on her precious flowers…", Shikamaru half-joked imagining his wife's raging anger when coming home. He still thought women to be troublesome, sometimes…


	5. Chapter 5

Actually, he couldn't quite decide by which he should be more overwhelmed: there he was, unable to believe he was allowed to stay within these holy walls, to touch the shiny wooden floor of this sacred temple with bare feet he carefully had washed before entering, to even be invited overnight at the place his God was living in and being able to eat dinner at the very same table together with Lord Shikamaru! How he was fucking blessed!

With great excitement and curiosity he admired the interior between hastily gorged morsels of the most delicious food he thought he'd ever had tasted, though it being quite the simple meal.

On the other hand, Hidan was so very furious and shocked. How could his God be residing in such a plain fucking ordinary and tiny house, when this crappy city even had a damn _palace_?! His Greatness ought to at least stay over there and have that dumb Hokage kicked right out! Didn't fucking anybody of these shitheads acknowledge the presence of a God here and already treat Him appropriately?!

Moreover Hidan wished most to strangle that triple cursed woman, who not only stayed at the same place as Lord Shikamaru but actually _dared_ shouting and screaming and commanding Him, making Him do housework as if He was a mere fucking shabby slave of that dirty bitch. And He even obeyed without a single fight! All He ever did was mumbling "how troublesome" but nevertheless running the errands… Hidan couldn't believe it.

It should definitely be the other way round, with that disgraceful whore at His Highness's holy feet, kissing them and begging for forgiveness, he thought. The only thing that kept him from killing that woman was Lord Shikamarus strict orders never to harm her or that little brat, who He had placed upon His lap and held him protectively. The boy – as if to annoy Hidan more – had slung his little sticky arms around His neck, snuggled up to His divine embrace and eyed him suspiciously and somewhat mockingly. He couldn't help but stare back wishing the damn kid to instantly disappear, while he was chomping on the mixed pickles side dish. Who the heck did that brat think, he was?!

But then his glance wandered back to the one he admired most. Instantly his calm reappeared as he remembered the pleasant shivers that had run down his spine when the Lord had given him the divine deathglare while warning him not to interfere with His both fellow occupants. That was quite the experience, Hidan figured gratefully! Tomorrow he surely would make the damn best offering to his God, he swore to himself.

A content creepy grin curled his lips as he watched Lord Shikamaru eat. Hidan never knew plain rice, Miso soup and roasted fish to be consumed in such a manly gracious way, chop sticks to be held in an equally elegant, yet simple manner as bits were picked and disappeared into His mouth. For now, pleasure in being here and witnessing these divine movements definitely got the upper hand…

Perhaps, this already was heaven!


	6. Chapter 6

The night had actually been more troublesome than Shikamaru had imagined.

Firstly, Kurenai was still mad at him for letting Hidan, of all people, stay. But the brilliant Shinobi figured, there was more to it: although having the Akatsuki member clearing the mess he had caused in the garden thoroughly, the destroyed poppies looked even poorer than before and his 'spontaneous guest' and his wife had metaphorically _butchered_ each other with death glares and had been hissing and muttering almost unheard insults during the whole dinner over most insignificant things.

Thus, later the Kunoichi blamed everything on her husband and after her great hurricane of wrath she, secondly, was ignoring him all night long… Plus, she even separated both their Futons by _4 inches_! This fact made him feel even worse and more troubled than before.

Because the slight and itchy feeling of guilt for not having told the Hokage yet was piling atop of his seeping in worries of being stabbed from behind by Hidan after all, everything led to, thirdly, him being cut short on his most important sleep for hours. Lying on one side, gazing at Kurenai's rejecting back under the tightly wrapped blankets, which reminded him somehow of a fortress, and listening to the faint continuous drizzle on windowpanes, his thoughts were running in circles and a creepy icy feeling haunted him as if a ghostly grip was tightening on his bare neck.

When Shikamaru finally must have snoozed off from sheer fatigue, he suddenly was awakened by a soft tapping and shaking on his left shoulder. "Wake up, please…", pleaded a tiny voice repeatedly. Moaning a silent complaint he opened his burning sleepy eyes to view the pale face of a slightly frightened child. Quickly snuggling into the refuge of Shikamaru's warm embrace, the boy whispered shyly: "Mummy's and Daddy's stranger friend is soo scary! When I woke up to go have a peepee, he was standing there all naked beside the bed staring at Daddy all the time. He had the big kitchen knife in his hand, which Mummy doesn't allow me to touch. 'Cause it's dangerous, she said. So I can't sleep anymore. May I have a glass of water, please?" Shikamaru blinked at his step-son's wide innocent dark eyes with mute shock, and then he slowly turned his head… His heart almost skipped a beat only to hammer even harder afterwards in his suddenly cramped chest, as his eyes met with Hidan's half moonlit and expressionless stare focused on the Shinobi. The killer's dark silhouette towered unmoving in the shadows above him, the bare feet of the religious manslayer just one and a half inches away from the edge of Shikamaru's Futon. How long had he already been there?! Neither of them spoke as if frozen in place, until he remembered the boy's question. "Sure…I'll get you some", Shikamaru numbly mumbled, never breaking his unblinking gaze with Hidan, as he cautiously stood up and slowly proceeded into the kitchen, taking the boy along.

Keeping a careful watch on the Akatsuki member, he observed the man following quietly behind and waiting at the kitchen door, while Shikamaru was pouring Asuma's son a glass of water and talking to him as casual and calmly in order neither to frighten the boy nor to give Hidan another opening: "Here you go. Drink up and go back to bed, then…" The child nodded and grabbed the glass. "Thank you, Daddy. May I sleep in the same bed with Mummy and Daddy, please?", he asked with cute, shyly pinked cheeks and heart melting puppy eyes as he took huge sips downing the water without a single stop. Shikamaru sighed in instant defeat: "How troublesome." But he nodded permitting. Asuma's son probably was indeed in less danger with both his parents close beside him to protect his life. The boy thanked him with an overjoyed hug and a broad smile: "You're the best! I love you."

After having returned to bed with the immortal pursuing him as if he was his shadow, Shikamaru held the satisfied and now sound asleep child protectively in his arms. In spite of giving in to Morpheus' alluring lullabies, gushes of pure adrenaline running through his body kept his eyes wide open and his senses alerted, not letting him get any sleep for the rest of the night, for knowing Hidan was still standing there beside his bed! Knife in hand. Undoubtedly staring at his back. Exactly one and a half inches away.

…_and secretly freaking him the hell out!!_


	7. Chapter 7

Hidan was sulking.

He didn't get, what the heck he would have done wrong, for he didn't do fucking _anything_ wrong! It was all that damn stupid brat's fault. First he spoilt the whole perfect situation, when Hidan had been peacefully enjoying standing guard beside his God that night watching His divine appearance. Then he kept annoyingly whining until the Lord was awakened by that fucking crybaby. And then the short fuckhead dared tricking Him by acting all cute and oh so innocent, so that he could falsely accuse Hidan of any nonsense he wanted to make up easily. So unfair! That cunning little bastard even sneaked into Lord Shikamaru's bed afterwards!

With a pout curling his lips, Hidan was poking his arms with the knife, he had taken to protect Him with, as if they were one of his 'offering lambs'. It still felt good, sensing the pain with every drip of blood he drew – even if he only imagined the boy to be the one he was stabbing right now…

Ah, well, Hidan still could fulfil his duty, he had assigned himself to, not to let anyone do any harm to his God last night. And since the Lord had tolerated that stupid brat and the annoying woman lingering around His divine presence, he could not do anything about it, but try to ignore them. Which he had failed big time. Even when Hidan was able to enjoy the pleasant sight of his sleeping God's outlines under the blankets, when his eyes kept close watch on every flickering shadow crawling over the beautiful pallor of the bare skin of His cervical vertebrae, external ear with pierced earlobe, jaw and cheekbone, framed by the still pony tailed dark fuzzy hair, one single movement or deeper sigh of both cursed intruders would be enough to distract Hidan and nourish his anger anew. How he wished them to be gone already!

During breakfast that disgraceful slut kept on constantly nagging about almost anything. Hidan didn't quite listen to her – she was shouting so damn fast and she used words, he had never ever heard before – but he had the vague but sure feeling, she was fucking talking about him. And it was pissing him off! Lord Shikamaru also did look as if he was sick and tired.

Yet, Hidan didn't get, why He didn't approve of him silencing them once and for all…he certainly would have done the deed already, the second his God gave his OK! But instead he once more was reprimanded for the mere suggestion, that Hidan figured had been his best idea for days.

Moreover his efforts of having offered two rabbits and a fat goose to his God were denied, because the gnome was whining and crying like all hell broke loose, the moment he saw the still warm bodies of the animals and the knife in Hidan's blood dripping hands. He was sure: Lord Shikamaru would have liked them – he _saw_, He eventually had been tempted to smile, then! - if that damned crybaby hadn't been there to spoil everything! In the end, the Lord had not only to set the little shithead at rest, but He was ordered by that terrible woman to clean the floor, Hidan had painted in a beautiful blood red. This was definitely not, what he had had in mind, when he first hunted and then presented his offerings.

So here he was, destining the porch to be his sulking-corner and sitting there somewhat gloomily poking his arms, by the way noticing the leaving of both pains in the asses, finally.

That was the moment when Lord Shikamaru came up to Hidan, blessing him with His presence. "Hey, Hidan! Care to expl-… what the heck are you doing now?! Put that knife down, already! You're bleeding all over", the God interrupted Himself with an alarmed voice, then immediately taking the knife and running off. Hidan felt even worse watching the back of his obviously angry God, unless He came back with a first aid kit and knelt down beside him. "Hold out your forearms! I'm gonna fix that…", He muttered and Hidan obediently did so, all to happy to have His attention and actually being treated. All he could do was to stay silent and to observe these holy procedures of blessing occur to him. "How troublesome…these cuts are so deep. And they are bleeding like hell. Luckily, so far as I can see, your veins are only hit orthogonally and the sinews are spared. So these wounds aren't lethal…you are quite the troublemaker, aren't you?", heard Hidan the calm divine voice ring in his ears, as He cleaned, examined, disinfected and then tightly bandaged the wounds. A wide grin had spread onto Hidan's lips, while he was being treated so nicely for the fist time. His former partner had always been very rough when sewing his limbs back together, he remembered. But with this different experience Hidan didn't even feel like complaining now about the slight stinging, but just wanted to gratefully enjoy what blessing was granted to him while watching the quick and efficient movements of Lord Shikamaru's hands. Was this strange and tickling comfortable feeling, which was welling warm in his chest, happiness? His God even seemed to actually care about him, didn't he? How Hidan was fucking blessed!

"There. All done!", sighed the God suddenly, let Hidan's arms go and stood up. "Let's proceed with cleaning the troublesome mess, you've caused, before Kurenai ever notices…and then get you something proper to dress." Still surprised by the sudden stop of the caring touch, he blinked and stared at his now perfectly treated, but somehow lonesome forearms for another moment until he noticed _and_ understood why Lord Shikamaru was holding a bucket and floor-cloth for the second time of the day.

After the wooden porch was spotless and shining again, Hidan followed his God to the bedroom, where he had stood guard beside the bed the night before. There, the Lord fetched a pair of black trousers and a sweatshirt from the cupboard and handed them to Hidan who was happily grinning. "Have a try. They might be a little short, for you are taller than me. But for now, they should suffice…", He said. First he tried the trousers. Indeed the three fourths trousers already ended on his knees' height and they where a bit tight fitting at his ass and thighs, but he had done worse. Shrugging, Hidan then was trying to put on the sweatshirt, but he was interrupted midway forcing his arms into the sleeves: "Well…with the trousers already like that, I doubt, you might fit in my shirt. Sorry for that, but you'd probably have to wait until I got you something in town." So The Lord took His gift away again, leaving Hidan bleeding hard on the inside. He felt as if he had been punished, but the joy of having received the very same trousers, his God had once clad with, as a heavenly gift made it only half as bad. He would wear them with pride and honour and never take them off again!

However, Hidan didn't quite understand why Lord Shikamaru was facepalming and muttering a rather frustrated "how troublesome", when he announced this decision…


	8. Chapter 8

If Shikamaru thought, the worst was already over with keeping Hidan from self destructive and rather suicidal actions, he would be terribly mistaken.

When telling the Akatsuki member, he would leave until afternoon and didn't intend to take Hidan along, he immediately saw by the almost desperate look of an abandoned puppy the taller one gave him: he could never ever let this man out of sight for a split second, or else he certainly would cause even bigger trouble! Hidan looked as if he was right about to cry, then ravage the entire house, eventually slay the whole neighbourhood and after that kill himself and point with a blaming finger at the one who would have left him alone – Shikamaru. However, the Konoha Shinobi at least had to report to the Hokage about the Akatsuki already, then he would have to buy groceries, he also should get some clothes for his 'guest' – maybe he might consider asking Ino for advice -, and for lunch he had an appointment with his best friend Chôji. So he definitely _had to_ leave the house.

Then again, he couldn't simply let Hidan come along: the uproar would be way too troublesome, if anyone recognized Hidan and caused even a mass panicking. And who knew, the religious fanatic might even plan to harm the Hokage, if he got any chance to do so…Shikamaru certainly would prevent this to happen! Therefore, the troublemaker ought to stay put where Shikamaru could (hopingly) predict and reduce possible freaky actions to a controllable amount. But perhaps, with his 'divine power' over Hidan, it still might be enough to keep him in vicinity and in close range for a successful Kagemane-no-Jutsu, just in case… If so, there was only the troublesome problem of preventing Hidan from being recognized left to be solved.

"Alright, let's see…Hidan, do you remember anyone from my team, back then? I want you to perform a Henge-no-Jutsu. If you want to accompany me to town, you can't let anyone know who you really are. Got it?", Shikamaru said, and to his delight Hidan nodded enthusiastically. Quickly, the taller man finished his hand signals and hid in a cloud of smoke with a dull sound of "Poof!", then presented his transformed body proudly grinning. "How's that? Quite realistic, huh?", he shouted and burst into that particular manic laughter of his, which would always give Shikamaru the shivers. However, he just shook his head and sighed deeply at the sight of the result. "You can't do that. It would be rather strange, if there were actually the two of me – especially if both look-alikes were to walk side by side…you have to try once again", he explained to the one mirroring his appearance quite perfectly. When Hidan pouted disappointedly, Shikamaru observed, he looked really hilarious doing so…and secretly vowed never to do so himself.

The second try was non the better and the brilliant Shinobi even wondered if Hidan had forgotten his brains out there in the woods, where he had been buried, as soon as the Akatsuki had transformed one more time. "No, Hidan! Just, no! Forget it already… So very troublesome. This is even more suspicious: Asuma is _dead_. You actually killed him yourself! Have you already forgotten?" Hidan released the Jutsu and was obviously down in the mouth.

Sometimes, even Naruto seemed less retarded, Shikamaru thought.

Then it hit him, how he could keep an eye on the dense troublemaker and fulfil his duties simultaneously, without Hidan leaving the house: he would simply borrow one of Naruto's special techniques and have a shadow clone stay with the manslayer. Problem solved.

So, later that morning, while his clone was spending a rather comfortable time at home with the opportunity of cloudgazing in the garden or playing Shogi, Shikamaru had a quite troublesome task beforehand: he had to convince the Hokage of several things. Firstly, he had to persuade her of tolerating a dangerous fellow like a former Akatsuki member at Konohagakure. Which leads to, secondly, having to assure his own positive influence and capability of keeping the troublemaker in line. Thirdly, he had to point out (or rather make up) benefits, Konoha would reap by assigning Hidan to a proper and suitable job. And last but not least, he had to find a way to sensitively introduce Hidan to his fellow citizens, so that he was able to leave the house without causing much trouble.

Well, with the Hokage caught in an extremely bad mood that morning, Shikamaru certainly didn't have the best timing to discuss his sensitive request. However, there was no turning back right now, he figured. So he took a deep breath and prepared himself for a long, completely troublesome and hard 'verbal war', which he was determined to leave victorious…

About three hours of arguing later, Shikamaru left the Hokage palace somewhat exhausted. He definitely was in need of a refreshing nap right now! At least, he had achieved something: the Hokage had agreed to Hidan staying on probation with Shikamaru responsible for his actions for three months. He was allowed to leave the house only if necessary, but he had always to be escorted.

Yet, the Hokage still had to decide about employing Hidan to some casual job. But Shikamaru would work on that later. Then he mused why he was trying so hard in the first place: after all, Hidan was the one who killed Asuma. Shikamaru definitely _should_ hate him. Then why was he helping him? The genius came to the simple conclusion, that he in fact didn't hate Hidan anymore: He had had his revenge. He had mourned Asuma's death long enough, almost eight years to be exact. He also had killed his foes during missions more than once. He felt kind of flattered by the strange affection and adoring admiration he saw in Hidan's eyes now. He recognized Hidan trying hard to be useful to him and to get his attention, though having rather freaky and creepy methods. He somehow was reminded of a lost child caught by a sect and led astray by the resulting weird belief. So maybe the Shinobi really could resemble a turning point in Hidan's life, if he had that great an impact on him as it seemed.

His train of thoughts was then interrupted by a blonde Medic-nin. "Shikamaru! Nice to see you. How are you?", greeted Ino rapidly and gave Shikamaru a friendly hug. "How come, you lazy-bones visit me? Well, listen anyways, I got big news…", his female comrade cheerily started chit-chatting and towed him all the way down the street and into her house, before he even had had the chance to reply. "Sit down, sit down!", she smiled, then turned around to shout through the whole building: "Sai, darling, we have a guest! Prepare some tea and snacks, will you, honey?" Shikamaru figured, Ino would never change her ways…

"Well, actually…Ino, I need some advice", he said, as soon as he was sure to have her attention back on him. The blonde nearly choked on her saliva: "Oh my God! You, of all people, come to me for advice?! This is apocalypse, is it?" The genius lifted an eyebrow. Sometimes she was really overacting…

Well, at least he got her by curiosity: "Seriously. What could it be, that makes you consider my opinion, Shikamaru? …Am I sensing some scandalous stuff here, huh? Could it be? You have a secret lover and Kurenai is about to find out! Or she already has found out and now you're in big trouble-…" "Stop speculating, Ino! I don't have a lover. And I've never betrayed Kurenai even once. You should know me", he had to interrupt her, before everything got out of hands. Ino sighed disappointedly: "Yeah. I know. You're just too lazy to even try having fun with someone else, hopeless. You being married makes it even worse. Kurenai's a fine woman, alright, and the boy is just adorably cute, but you know-…she was in love with _Asuma_. And the child is still Asuma's child, whatever you say. Guess what, I think, you really should date someone else. Try to find happiness and someone you really love. That's the best, being in love. I bet you've never been."

"That's not true. I do care for Kurenai", Shikamaru snapped. Ino pointed at him: "Ha! That's it: care. You care for Chôji and me as well…" Crossing his arms, he retorted: "But I don't sleep with either of you both." The Medic-nin chuckled and patted his shoulder. "True. And I'm glad, that you don't… though sometimes, I thought Chôji and you to eventually be that close-…" "Ino!", came a sharp warning, then Shikamaru calmed down again and finally led the conversation to where he wanted it: "We've been through this time and again: don't interfere with my love life. It's fine as it is. Anyways, I originally came here to ask you, if you'd help me pick some clothes. Currently I have…a guest around, who can't go buy them himself." Ino blinked, then smiled and jumped to her feet.

"Why haven't you told me in the first place? Come on! Let's go, lazy-bones!", she decided and tugged her friend along. Obviously, she had forgotten about her poor husband, who was left holding the baby - or tea - by now...


	9. Chapter 9

Boredom struck him like a critical hit and made him lay flat on the floor right next to the Lord, who had been motionlessly staring at the sky for what seemed like forever to him.

What the heck was so fucking interesting up there? Hidan had no clue at all. At first, he wanted to figure it out: he watched his God for quite some time, then laid down beside him and looked for what He might have spotted there.

Hidan saw-…well, fucking nothing! Even if he squinted very hard, there wasn't anything up there in the big blue but shitty ordinary clouds. Soon he really got fed up with the damn boring dull sight and doing absolutely nothing. So why wasn't Lord Shikamaru bored at all? How could He be laying there for hours and hours as if He was dead meat and look like He actually… _enjoyed_ it!

Hidan figured, it had to be some sort of divine stuff, ordinary human beings wouldn't comprehend ever in a damn billion of years, even if they tried…some spiritual things or meditation or holy rites or whatever. However, he understood the importance of this divine act, so he decided to just watch and not to distract his God during the ceremony.

Actually, Hidan's good intentions were then undermined rapidly, when he couldn't stand the great boredom, that came along with having fucking nothing to do, anymore. He knew, he shouldn't be ungrateful for the Lord spending some precious time with him and blessing him with his presence. But this was sheer torture! Rolling and shifting ceaselessly from one side to the other, he started to feel really itchy to do something, _anything_! How desperate he then had become for some action, he only recognized when fidgeting so hard, he almost fell off of the porch.

However, Hidan didn't know, when he imprudently blurted it out, that single question would cause an even grater nemesis for him during the following hours…


	10. Chapter 10

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Finally, finally a new chapter to this story! :3 I'm so very sorry to make you wait for an update that long, since I promised to continue writing. And so I will! Now! :D  
_

_University exams, job, Wacken...if only I didn't keep getting sidetracked._ ^^;

_Well, what finally got me back into the mood for this story was my personal Shikamaru-experience the other day:_

_I was all by myself hiking in the woods adjacent to the village I live in listening to some Naruto OST on my MP3 player (what a coincidence, it's Shikamaru's Theme! Ha!) when suddenly a stag and a doe appeared 5-7 meters in front of me on the path and stared right at me. I expected them either to run or come at me to protect themselves then, so just for the heck of it I said: "Mendoukusai!" The deer kept staring at me and calmly stepped a bit closer, then left the path to either side and accompanied me alongside the way for about another 20 meters before again disappearing further into the woods. I was so dumbfounded, I almost expected to trip over Hidan's head somewhere! Scary. O.O Unfortunately, it was way too late when I remembered taking out my camera. T.T_

_At least, this incident is the reason why you're able to read this chapter. So, yay! :D And there's even more in the making..._

_Now, have fun with the sory! :3  
_

_Chaos_

...

Well, Shikamaru had been quite surprised by Hidan's sudden approach, and pleasantly it had been a nice surprise for a change. Of course, his train of thoughts had been interrupted, which was kind of troublesome, but the genius would have been a bloody _idiot_, if he were to stifle any form of slightly positive sign by the former Akatsuki member, rather than fuel his interest!

So with a faint, genuine smile he got up from his comfortable lying position and gladly granted his houseguest his request: "Alright, Hidan, I'll tell you then."

While the strategist was explaining things, he leisurely fetched his heavy wooden Shogi board, set up the pieces and moved idly. He observed with delight how the taller man scooted closer and listened attentively to every word he spoke as if they meant some kind of revelation to the manslayer.

"…so this piece is called 'the Rook'. As it is one of the more powerful ones, it can move like this and cause some trouble for the opponent", Shikamaru told about his favourite game and moved the piece accordingly to visualize the rules. "You see, when I'd been planning out how to beat you and your partner then, I'd always pictured you as 'the Rook' and Kakuzu as 'the Bishop', which I explained previously…your combined abilities are really troublesome to deal with, just like these two pieces. However, there's one more trick to 'the Rook': castle. So you can switch positions with 'the King' to protect it and-…", he pointed out while he made an explanatory move, but was suddenly interrupted by Hidan, who simply picked up 'the Rook'.

"I am a fucking _rook_?", the silver haired man asked with a puzzled look, as he turned and observed curiously the tiny piece between his fingers. "Yeah, so-…" "Ah, whatever! And you're the King, then?", Hidan interrupted again boldly, when he put down the piece and tried mimicking the movements he was shown, as if he was a small child playing with toy cars.

Shikamaru felt a smile tug on his lips and he rubbed his neck in slight embarrassment, when the innocent remark showed him again how very highly the religious man thought of him at present. This almost naïve affection was still strange to him, but not quite unwelcome. "No, I'm not that important, though…if we spoke in Shogi terms, I'd more likely be this one, 'the Knight'", he murmured. "It certainly is not the most powerful piece on the board, but it has the unique ability to jump pieces like this and break through enemy lines quickly, which is a metaphor for the way my mind works…-What the heck are you doing, Hidan? So troublesome!", the genius exclaimed, when he noticed that Hidan had piled all his pieces randomly in a circle on one spot on the board with a single one placed in the centre. "You can't play like that. Are you even listening to what I'm trying to explain all this time?", Shikamaru huffed. Was Hidan that stupid?

The fanatic manslayer crossed his arms and literally pouted curling his lips. "Sure, I fucking am! Lord Shikamaru has told me, this damn game is all about beating the shit out of the enemy and protecting the most important piece from being killed, has He not? And I'm the rook and Your Highness said, You are the knight. So, I'm fucking trying to build a castle around this Holy Knight, so no one can touch Him. What's wrong with protecting my God now? Isn't this what I'm supposed to do?", Hidan snapped and pointed accusingly onto the board.

Shikamaru facepalmed. He did not know whether he should feel completely flattered or annoyed by this troublesome man. Finally he decided it was for the better if he postponed the Shogi lesson some more, since his nerves were slowly wearing thinner and Hidan seemed much less enthused with the game either way. And he still had to tell him about the meaning of 'the King' and to warm him up to protecting it for real…

"Let's continue some other time, okay? I'm rather tired. So, while I'll be taking a shower, would you please be so kind and put the board back away? I won't hear the end of it, if Kurenai finds the pieces lying around again where one can accidentally step on them…so much trouble…", the shadow ninja murmured, as he heaved his body up and sluggishly trotted towards the bathroom. Behind him he heard the taller man being occupied and rattling the pieces.

In the meantime, Ino was still dragging Shikamaru (or was it his shadow clone? – well, he certainly wished, he was one right then, so he could simply disappear!) through the market and into whichever male clothing shop they passed on the way. By now, he regretted having asked his blonde team mate for shopping advice, and he silently vowed to never do it again. When it came to fashion and shopping, the Shinobi figured, the Kunoichi was almost as frightening as his current manslaying houseguest. The fanatic, almost manic gleam in their eyes was quite not that different…

"Oh! You sooo must try this on!", she squealed enthusiastically for the nth time during the last gruesome hours, shoved yet undefined loads of textiles into his arms and pushed him into a changing cubicle, before he could so much as protest or even think, how troublesome it really was! The lazy genius sighed heavily and dumped the stack of clothes onto a stool first. "You know, these are not for me, Ino, but for… my guest", he tried again to remind her, but his friend apparently was not all ears at all, for she kept bringing more and more.

"Huh? Aren't you changed yet, lazy-bones? Hurry up, then!", the much too energetic woman put her head in to check on her team mate and startled him a bit, as he was complying nonetheless and starting to undress. "Ino! Get the hell out, you troublesome woman!", Shikamaru sharply and loudly warned her, feeling the heat of embarrassment rising to his cheeks and ears. He did not feel exposed when he was wearing net shirts or baring his torso on particularly hot days to cool himself off in front of his female comrades, though, but with his trousers it was a whole different story for a rather conservative type like him.

With an amused giggle the blonde whirlwind was off again and the Shinobi could finally try on whatever the florist had picked out for him. Most of the clothes on the pile were rather flashy and too colourful for his taste, but at least the Medic-nin had put enough thought into it to choose for a person with a larger size than him, he noticed with a weak smile. So, she'd actually listened for once…

Shikamaru had no idea, whether those trousers and shirts and sweatshirts and whatnot suited Hidan's liking, actually. However, he guessed, anything was fine, as he recalled the former Akatsuki member's reaction to his old trousers. Still, in the end he stuck to the ordinary Shinobi's wear, just to be on the safe side. Moreover, he preferred those plain, unicoloured navy, khaki or black clothes most, also. Yet, that did not spare him from Ino's troublesome and never-ending complaining about his apparent tastelessness and her great efforts to dress him fashionable. "How could anyone be so dull and stuck-in-the-mud? You are supposed to be an _eye-catch_, if you ever want to find a love interest! How can anyone find you attractive, when you are just like your Jutsus: literally a shadow on the wall!", the fashion-loving florist whined. Shikamaru just shook his head and turned his eyes skywards, shouldering the bag of clothes for Hidan leisurely.

"Once and for all: I'm a married man, and I'm perfectly _fine_ this way. I don't need to find another", he murmured through his teeth, hoping to shut her up on that topic finally. "Thanks for helping me out this time, Ino, but I have to leave now. Chôji is awaiting me for lunch", the lazy genius intended to evade more troublesome running the gauntlet of shopping, but his team mate smiled even brighter. "Great, I'll tag along then! It's been a while, hasn't it? By the way, you could also spill the beans and tell about your mysterious guest already…", she decided happily and dragged her fellow Shinobi along to the restaurant.

Shikamaru definitely had to think of a way out of this upcoming interrogation quickly, before the trouble with Asuma's killer inside his house got out of hand! He was not prepared to tell both his friends yet…

Back in said house, the lazy genius was still unaware of the trial his other self was going through in town, while he was having a brief moment at ease in the shower. The soothing hot water sprinkled pleasantly down on him, the droplets created a gently tickling feeling on his skin and caused his muscles to relax further on their liquid path down his body. Closing his eyes against the artificial tropical rain, Shikamaru breathed deeply. A calm smile formed on his lips.

Nothing did more good than the pouring of the hot shower on his skin and solely the steady drizzle of water in his ears in order to wash away his worries and to cleanse his mind of troublesome brooding for a while…

So he just stood there, enjoying, too eased off and lazy to move.

When Shikamaru finally sluggishly half-opened his eyes again, he made out the reflection of a dark silhouette on the shower tiles in front of him, but too late. He _should _have known! Just once, for the bat of an eyelash, he had been too careless to keep his back unguarded from Hidan. And that same recklessness came back at him now with force. He could do anything but let out a curt, freaked out yelp of startled shock, as he was instantly grabbed firmly from behind.


	11. Chapter 11

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Before getting on with chapter 11, here's one annotation regarding the previous chapter: I don't know much about Shogi, actually, thus I'll stick to chess rules_. _So please, either bear with that or teach me. ;)_

_Chaos_

...

That damn stupid board game had been such a pain in the ass. His mind was still spinning from all these complicated stuff and different meanings and cryptic symbols. Hidan knew, the revelation his God had conveyed him was of great importance, so he _had_ tried to follow His words attentively. This Shogi-thing turned out to be some kind of difficult means of fortune telling or spell casting on people, and he had to interpret what the damn thing was trying to tell him, he figured. But in the end, when he thought he finally had fucking got it, it was still all wrong!

It was so very frustrating to see the obscure Deity being disappointed in him and walking away. His heart sank and a tight knot built in his throat.

Was he deemed unworthy of being His first follower now?

Then again, Lord Shikamaru had entrusted him with taking care of the divine runes board in his absence… If that wasn't a sign of forgiveness for his foolish sins, he didn't know fucking anything. So maybe, there was still hope, and he could make it up to his God and appease him somehow! He had a bloody damn good idea how to accomplish that right away… Thus, first of all Hidan bent down low, clasped his hands tightly together and took a brief moment for a heartfelt silent prayer in front of 'the Knight', before picking up the piece and taking it along as talisman and protective charm.

With strong will and determination spreading a wide grin on his lips, he silently approached the place where the divine presence was dwelling. Quietly Hidan slid into the tiled room, cautious not to disturb Him in His meditative state while swiftly following the holy dress code of this shrine. For he sensed the supernatural atmosphere oozed by his God all around, as he was engulfed in its hot and steamily moist aura the moment he entered. Taking in this very experience of blessing the Shikamaruist held his breath, even though his heart was beating fast and his body was tickling with excitement.

Hidan was completely in awe.

Instantly his eyes were glued to divine shape half hidden within the clouds of steam as if floating on air. As he was subconsciously drawn in by the sight, more of his God was revealed to him by the humid incense, until he could make out every single drop of holy water permeating divine silken black hair or grazing holy pale skin making both of them shimmer with faint reflection of light. Hidan could even breathe in the light scent coming from the embodiment of his belief. He was so fucking blessed to be able to witness such a great happening!

It hardly dawned on him what great an impact the whole scene had on him, for he has way too overwhelmed with some new, intense emotion arousing inside him, filling him to the brim with warm excitement and a light-headed feeling. Was this true enlightenment? Or bliss? Or something else, he had no name for yet?

His hands instinctively started carrying out the deed, which he had committed himself to beforehand, and reached out for an actual touch of blessing by his God. He needed this to be done, he almost craved it. The first contact with hot and wet skin beneath his fingers sent a tingling jolt of joy through his body, when Hidan suddenly realized: 

_Had anyone before him ever dared touching a God? _

But it was too late to regret or to think about crossing forbidden boundaries, now. His hands pressed fully on muscular shoulders and neckline, tasted the sensation of real and smooth flesh on his palms. And it felt damn right! Still, the divine body tensed abruptly in a flinch with a surprised noise escaping His lips, and Lord Shikamaru swiftly turned around, His back colliding with the tiled wall. "Hidan!", the God let out warningly and sent his divine deathglare towards the taller one. Was he guilty of an even greater sin than he estimated?

Repentance welled in him at once, but Hidan had to explain his good intentions first: "Lord Shikamaru may bloody smite me for touching a God with the hands of the impure sinner, who I am! But I truly meant no fucking harm: I was just hoping to be granted Your touch of blessing, when I do Your Highness good…helping easing up Your tensed muscles. I can imagine, a Deity has very different problems and worries, an ordinary human being cannot comprehend. So-…as Your first disciple, it is damn crucial to me to take care of the wellbeing and good humour of my God." The warily inquiring stare he received made him feel uneasy and utterly nervous.

When the grave silence continued to stretch out further, Hidan started to fidget as the fear of abandonment was growing stronger. His heart was beating so hard for life as if to jump out of his tight chest any instance. "Can't You ever forgive me, my Lord? Have I committed the inexcusable? Am I…being excommunicated?", he whispered struggling painfully to pronounce the dreaded word, that made him swallow hard.

The world seemed to stop before him in this moment, which determined his fate, his purpose in life, the entire meaning of his existence!


	12. Chapter 12

_Chaos herself's note:_

_I'm glad this story seems to be still liked! That makes the 'troublesome' work worth it. :)_

_And luckily someone took the hint and was so kind to introduce me to some Shogi basics, so you'll also be able to reap the fruits of my first lesson... Thus, here goes an improved chapter 12! :D_

_Chaos_

_..._

Awkward. That was the most exact description to his current situation: utterly and entirely awkward.

Somehow, he had known, or rather expected, into what he had got himself by permitting Hidan to direct his weird credo towards him, but by now Shikamaru was sure, one day this decision would be his downfall: the fanatic manslayer would either drive him insane or kill him or get him killed by his friends and family or make him commit suicide…or everything at one go! And if the intelligent Konoha Shinobi was to guess, it would happen rather sooner than later. He was _doomed_!

The lunch with Chôji and Ino had extended until early afternoon and with the much too curious blonde at the table, the whole get-together had turned into a most troublesome run the gauntlet for him. If his female team mate had not become a Medic-nin, she surely would have succeeded in following Inoichi's footsteps… The lazy genius had needed almost every brain cell available to evade and distract his friends' attention from the delicate topic of his 'mysterious houseguest', as Ino had put it. Which was much easier said than done with one certain troublesome gossip-girl pestering him constantly and being able to even pique his best friend's interest at last!

Shikamaru had literally risked his neck to keep Hidan's identity secret. Well, he had managed somehow; he was a genius after all. Yet, his constant beating around the bush led to wild assumptions and awkward theories (which involved him, his obviously male guest, a lot of awkward situations and a bunch of even stranger and very suspicious utilities, he did not even know existed - much less wanted to try out!), that he could not simply brush off like he usually did, without revealing the shocking truth. Thus, Ino, who just _loved_ scandalous stuff and had a wild imagination when it came to romance, got more and more thrilled and hyped-up in her imaginary, she almost missed the chance to interview a quite embarrassed Chôji about his cute girlfriend.

However, when Shikamaru finally escaped the restaurant and Ino's fangirlish grip, the opera still wasn't over until the fat lady sung!

On his way back home he met Shiho, who he knew had had a little crush on him for several years now. At first, the genius thought, this conversation was about work, since the rather nerdy cryptographer scarcely braced up enough to actually come chat with him instead of observing from afar. Soon, Shikamaru found out, how terribly mistaken he was and what trouble he got himself involved in earlier with his careless talk: the normally shy woman with stalking tendencies started gabbling on how shocked she was to hear the news, that she now understood why he had never been interested in her, that she had not even noticed then, if his wife already knew she was only an alibi and so on and so forth…

The Shinobi felt himself being increasingly alienated, the more the awkward rant continued. And he knew very well the source of that strange opinion on him, which had awakened in the bespectacled Kunoichi… "That troublesome woman! Wait until I get her back for that…", Shikamaru muttered under his breath, a deep frown knotting his brows as he backed off from Shiho and proceeded home.

The road to his house had never been more awkward with everyone gawking warily at him, he figured…

Surely, something like that was not entirely uncommon in society; it was even regarded as honourable part of Bushido among Samurai. And since they all were warriors, the philosophy also applied to Shinobi life one way or other. Therefore, the thought itself was not utterly repulsive to him. Instead he was most troubled and even annoyed by the false information on him, that was currently being spread in Konoha. But Shikamaru could not possibly intervene, not with Hidan still having to be hidden from public eyes and ears!

The next awkward moment greeted him as soon as he came home and dissolved his Kagebunshin-no-Jutsu to learn how well his clone had done babysitting Hidan. The instant the memories and experience his other self had gained were seeping into is mind, he wished so badly he was still being ignorant of what had had happened in his absence!

Shikamaru (or his clone, to be more precise) shifted slightly away from his defensive position against the cold tiles as he faced Hidan. Just a second ago he was sure, that would have been his instant death, and now he couldn't help giving in to the pitifully miserable look the taller man gave him. "No…it's alright, I guess", he huffed, eyeing the drowned rat in front of him warily. "Go on then, if you must. Troublesome…", the Konoha Shinobi added hesitantly after a long pause of awkward silence.

He still was suspicious and felt uncomfortably embarrassed being literally trapped in a shower with a naked Hidan crowding him. The former Akatsuki member's mood frighteningly brightened at once, as if suddenly the heavy clouds had lifted and the sun was shining with all its might: he looked just like Ino when she was about to bear hug her friend all of a sudden! Luckily, Asuma's killer did not do that to him. For now.

Still, Shikamaru did not quite trust Hidan enough to let him touch his back again without instinctively flinching and a mixture of uneasiness and mute fright ceaselessly warring in his stomach and producing goosebumps on his bare skin. However, in spite of all these awkward feelings he let it happen.

Much to his surprise, the manslayer really did not try to kill him, but slowly his tensed muscles started to ease off a bit as the religious fanatic was massaging him while washing his back. The grip of Hidan's big, rough hands was firm, yet the sensation was somewhat gentle and with care, as if he was handling something incredibly precious or fragile. And surely, he knew how to slack off sore muscles unexpectedly skilfully.

Soon enough, Shikamaru observed how the newly added pleasant feeling slowly, slowly was easing the awkwardness in his belly away, and his body finally let himself be wound down by the almost caressing warm touch.

Still, the whole situation seemed so unreal, so weird... But undoubtedly it did him the world of good!

He should try getting Kurenai to do that for him sometimes, too, he figured… When Hidan ran his thumbs up his neck and spread his fingers through his thick hair in order to continue with a thorough head massage, Shikamaru let out a sigh of utter material wellbeing. A blissful smile crept onto his lips, his eyes fell shut and he simply enjoyed the new experience. "So very good…", he breathed in contentment, while the skilful hands worked their magic with light pressure on his scalp and seemed to suck dry every single troublesome thought in his head and left nothing but a warm, bright void behind. He felt as if he was floating on a fluffy, cotton woolly cloud.

"Whatever you do, please just don't stop!", he murmured huskily and tilted his head backwards asking for more. Even in his current state the genius managed to formulate a complete sentence to somehow gratefully acknowledge the kind gesture.

How much Shikamaru had softened up to Hidan's touch and how much less he had been aware of his surroundings and situation, he only realized when abruptly being snapped out of his blissful daydreaming by the sounds of the bathroom door being swung open and a sharp intake of breath. He instantly froze in place, as he recognized the familiar silhouette in the doorway. "Sorry to interrupt-…things. Come over when the two of you are finished, son", he heard the low voice rumble calmly and then the door being closed again.

At once, the troublesome embarrassment and awkwardness were there again, cramping his stomach in a tight knot and making his cheeks and ears tingle with risen heat. "Double doubled trouble!", Shikamaru huffed through gritted teeth and buried his face in his hands, then hurriedly left Hidan in the shower without a second glance to catch up with the sudden intruder.

But Shikaku was already gone.

Slumping down in the living room the clone impatiently waited for the original to come back home and take care of the mess, all the while fear rising like a sickening bubble of bile within him – not because of Hidan's freaky actions, but because of his father's reaction to them!

…And he did not even dare think of how his _mother_ would take it!

A visit to his parents' home had been inevitable. Seemingly though, his mother had not suspected anything, yet, when she greeted him heartily. Then again, the head of the Nara household was neither one to talk much nor to act rashly. However, Shikamaru could not possibly play it off, now, that Shikaku was the first to learn about Hidan.

The awkward talk during the obligatory game of Shogi turned out to be an even more awkward silence with the only sound of pieces being moved. Loathing the look his father was giving him the whole time as they moved without saying a word, Shikamaru felt as if he was a child again, being reprimanded for doing something stupidly troublesome.

Still, he hadn't done anything wrong. It might very well have looked like it, but there wasn't anything improper to what had happened in the shower either. It had been awkward as close as they had been, yes, however, Hidan only had done him a favour, and that was all there was to it! Somewhat defiantly the younger man placed his knight two squares behind and one to the side of his rook.

"You sure, that's the right thing to do?", his father calmly questioned.

Shikamaru shot him a glance. "What's done is done. I'm not gonna take back a move like a child would!", he murmured. So his old man nonchalantly took his silver instead. "I'm talking about Hidan", he simply said. His son huffed and instantly countered. "Troublesome…"

"So, what are you going to do about him? He was the one to kill Asuma, right?", the older strategist composedly pressured on, while the younger genius had to react. "I know…I'm well aware of his capabilities. That's why I'm letting him stay at my place, where I can observe and predict his actions", he assured his father while replaying the fight eight years ago in his mind.

"He's a former Akatsuki member", Shikaku pointed out aiming for his opponent's gold, but the young strategist dropped a pawn to secure his castle. "We'll make use of his strange attachment to me. The Hokage also agreed that it is the best strategy we have in order to keep Hidan in line. And I don't intend to wiggle myself out of my responsibilities once accepted, like I used to as a kid", Shikamaru responded firmly while ascending his rook.

His father nodded, then he laid a bait for the newly awakened dragon. "What about Kurenai?"

His son sighed. "Of course, she is not amused. So troublesome! I understand, she doesn't want the man who killed Asuma to stay under the same roof. But that's a necessary evil. We have discussed that already. Moreover, Hidan can be an unexpectedly nice guy, if only he tries…", he murmured. Shikamaru did not fall for the trap, but eliminated it with one of his knights.

"The boy?", his father continued, aiming directly for the king this time. Again, there was a knight to deflect the danger. "I definitely won't let anyone do him any harm! Ever. That's what I vowed to myself", the heir to the Nara clan chief declared decisively. Afterwards he leisurely slumped back in his position and showed his father a faint grin: "By the way, Dad: that's tsume for you."

Shikaku sighed crossing his arms, scratched his goatee and let his gaze wander over the board. "I see. That's one freaky knight you have there, son. To combine its powers with your dragon like that-…there's nowhere to move my king anymore! How unexpected of you", he murmured thoughtfully.

Shikamaru didn't know, if he should feel proud or embarrassed now. Still, his new strategy had proven quite effective… He was off his father's hook. For now.


	13. Chapter 13

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Uh, yeah...so this chapter is finally more to the (more serious) angsty/hurting side than humour. I thought, it's about time this story slowly lives up to the M rating. ^^; Thus, chapter 13 is full of my share on Hidan's insanity..._

_Hopefully, you enjoy this, also! :)  
_

_Chaos_

...

Hidan was confused. What the fuck had gone wrong? As he was lying flat on the bloody wooden porch as if it was an Andrew's cross, he wondered.

One moment seemed like everything was perfectly fine, he even felt as if he was finally in heaven being able to stay so close to his God, his sins forgiven, the most holy blessing granted to him – the Lord had even allowed and encouraged him to touch Him, showed him He was real and within reach and He was fucking _there_ to care unlike any other deity… and the other He suddenly slipped out of Hidan's grasp and was gone within the blink of an eye!

He had read the signs correctly this time, hadn't he? He had been careful not to overstep the boundaries of that fragile moment, even though the excitement had made him feel dizzy… So, why? Why the fucking bloody hell did Lord Shikamaru abandon him nonetheless, right when he felt the happiest in his life ever? What was this divine punishment out of the blue for?

The deity was strict about His commandments, but still Hidan did not estimate Him to be randomly cruel towards His follower.

The Shikamaruist groaned. Pure agony was flowing through his veins, cramping his heart and making his head swim in despair. The loneliness of abandonment struck him harder than he imagined and he was bleeding from inside out. This was no test or whatsoever, it was torture. And it was driving him nuts the longer he had to endure.

He knew that cursed feeling. A long time ago he suffered this very agony, which made him turn insane, until he learned how to fucking cope with it: Jashin taught him. First, Hidan would divert from his shrewd agony by creating a new, physical pain. He would bleed praying until the pain washed his anguish away letting it go numb; the warm crimson liquid was pooling around his body and his mind blissfully suffered from the blood loss as he was slipping in and out of consciousness. But that wasn't enough, it was never enough – neither to Jashin nor to erase the agony in his heart and soul!

Then, he learned how to share pain. He studied the rite, followed the ceremony and took his first sacrifice. Finally, the pain of his dying victim was great enough to veneer the crying of his heart for a brief moment! Hidan soon became addicted to sacrificing up to the point he relished the pain he felt with each death. Only much later, after thousands of deaths by his hands, he realized that the ceremony had extended his lifespan until he became practically immortal by the fatal curse. If he could not escape life anymore, he was damned to constantly numb his psychological agony by sharing physical pain and thus prolonged his torture even more. He was caught in a vicious circle. This awareness took the last bit of his fucking sanity that day.

Instinctively, his body had reacted according to his longtime routine as soon as the anguish of despair kicked in after Lord Shikamaru had left him. So, Hidan was lying there in the open, his bare body still moist from the shower, the big kitchen knife loosely in his grip, while he was waiting for the cuts to subside his raging agony.

He hadn't done that in a long time, there hadn't been much need to: the enlightenment on that fateful day had planted a fragile seed of hope inside, that had kept him strong enough to withstand until he dug himself up to follow his obscure God. His heart was pounding rapidly and his breath came out in sharp gasps. Hidan's vision started to blur due to blood and oxygen loss, but he knew he wouldn't die from that, even though he had turned his back on Jashin to convert to Shikamaruism. A slight sad chuckle escaped his lips as he knew he soon would hallucinate.

But the hoped-for ease of pain did not take effect like it should have.

Then it suddenly dawned on him, why the Lord exposed him to his most dreaded anguish of mind: he still had to atone for his sins he had committed in the name of a different god! Lord Shikamaru was still bringing down His vengeance for him killing that bearded dickhead years ago!

The soft chuckle bursting from his lips evolved into roars of insane laughter, bouncing from the walls and shaking his blood oozing body hard, until his eyes watered and his lungs were burning. Gasping bitterly for air Hidan still couldn't stop laughing, although hot tears were flowing down his cheeks like torrents. The sounds erupting from his scarred throat could not be distinct anymore: there were pained uncontrollable gasps, remorseful anguished groans, desperate roaring shouts, helpless manic conniptions, lonesome convulsive sobbing…

He _hurt _so much!

"Lord Shikamaru! Please, don't leave me…don't fucking do this to me anymore! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…oh, Lord! Make it go away…", Hidan whispered a bitter prayer in his delirious state, repeatedly banging his fists to the ground pleadingly. He couldn't bear it. He needed release, and he needed it now. Somehow, he managed to heave is protesting body up and dragged it along - where to, he didn't know, much less cared…

His mind was blank, numb with emotional pain, and his heavy step was sloppy from blood drainage. There was a weight in his hand and his blurred sight made it out to be something sharp and shiny, he could use…to kill the pain with. Instinctively, he located the sounds and movements of a living being close by. Repeated countless times' moves brought him closer, had him lift his aching blood dripping arm with the knife clenched tightly in his grip and throw himself at whoever crossed his path without thinking.

However, he did not recall if he actually hit his target, for his weakened body gave out beforehand, so he simply collapsed losing conscious as soon as he hit the floor.


	14. Chapter 14

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Still on the more serious side. ^^; But more funny/hilarious ShikaHidan stuff is ahead, promise._

_Have fun!_

_Chaos_

...

Shikamaru met Kurenai in front of the house when she was about to enter. So he caught up to the Kunoichi by the poppy field and greeted his wife with a kiss on the forehead as she slightly blushed and leaned into him. "Where is the boy?", the younger one murmured into her black mane circling his arms around her waist for a caring embrace. "With a friend from the Academy. I allowed him to stay overnight", Kurenai replied quietly and snuggled closer into the comforting arms. "Thought, it was safer that way…" The strategist nodded. He might fulfil the role of Asuma's child's father up to the limits he was capable of, but when it came to decisions regarding the kid he preferred leaving things to the real parent's discretion.

"Still, you can't foresee how long Hidan'll stay under my surveillance, be it weeks or months...even years. And I don't think we should keep the little sunshine away from his family for more than a couple of days. He's only a seven-years-old, he needs his loving mother. And I know you'll be missing him tonight already", he spoke his mind nonetheless. Even though he didn't decide himself, he often provided profound advice to help upbringing the boy.

"Don't worry much. With Konoha's number one Genjutsu-specialist and my Kagemane-no-Jutsu we should be able to protect our little 'King' almost hands down, if _anything_ happened, don't you think so?", Shikamaru smiled assuring and lifted Kurenai's chin gently to look straight into her big red eyes, as soon as he saw her hesitating. At least his complimenting words flashed a faint smile on the older woman's lips, before she curtly brushed them against his. "I guess you're right", she sighed, let go and turned to the door. Her husband followed close behind.

The second they entered, they ran into a sudden assault.

Kurenai bumped into him as she jumped back, let out a slightly frightened cry and both of them tumbled to the floor staring shocked at the mad-eyed manslayer leaping at them with a knife and palpable killer intent. It was too late for any Jutsu, that could stop the insane fanatic! So Shikamaru did the only thing he could do this quick: shield the body of his wife with his own.

A sharp pain shot through his upper arm, where the knife pierced his flesh, when Hidan's body crashed onto him with full force, squashing the air out of his lungs by the weight of the taller man. He expected another hit to come and butcher him right then and there, but nothing the like happened. Hidan laid motionlessly on top of him and was obviously out like a light.

"How troublesome…get off…", the Konoha Shinobi murmured through gritted teeth and tried stemming the former Akatsuki member off of him. That was, when he noticed the blood: the blood on Hidan's body, the blood on the kitchen knife, the blood staining his own clothes now, the blood on his porch trailing everywhere... The house looked like a gruesome massacre had taken place there.

Had Hidan slaughtered people here?

A horrible lump knotted his throat and his stomach flip-flopped out of fear and guilt. It was his responsibility after all. Had he been too blue-eyed, too reckless to think the manslayer wouldn't go berserk on people, if he just told him not to? He felt sick.

"There aren't any dead bodies or severed body parts here. So where does all that blood come from?", the Kunoichi asked as soon as she had got over the initial shock and had followed the gory trail to its origin, just to return where she started from. Shikamaru sighed deeply. He felt very relieved, that apparently no innocent Konoha citizen had fallen prey to the bloodbath in his home. Still trying to push the unconscious man off and wiggling out from under him, the genius detected the wet trails on Hidan's slightly puffy cheeks and the fresh cuts on his wrists.

Now he knew. "He did it to himself…", he whispered in mute dismayed shock about this realisation. And he was clearly just as unhappy about the sad outcome as if everyone else had been victimized.

"Hurry and get Ino here! She shall bring her utensils for blood transfusion", he decisively called on his wife quickly, while clutching the lifeless body sprawled over his lap closer, checking for Hidan's pulse and trying to suppress further bleeding. After a short hesitant moment Kurenai complied and vanished.

Meanwhile, even greater fear was rising inside of the genius as he tended to his suicidal houseguest as much as he could. "If you die on me now, it'll be an even greater trouble for me…so you better hang on, Hidan!", Shikamaru murmured regretfully.

He didn't know what troublesome baggage the former Akatsuki member carried around to pull such extreme measures. After all, Shinobi life was bound to leave never-healing scars on the souls of those committed to it, they were all fated to experience the most horrible things that would traumatize them at best. But he figured, the older Shinobi had been through _a lot_ of crap in his immortal life that had made him the bizarre man he was now, a lot more than he might fathom…

Thoughtfully, the strategist rubbed the salty traces off the bitter face with slightly trembling fingers, after having improvised tight tourniquets to stop the bleeding. Somehow, he strangely sympathised with the religious fanatic for being so strong and finding a way to cope with it all – for that was what his weird credo really was, he understood.

Once more he was impressed and awkwardly flattered by the realisation how crucial his presence had become to a single person. It was a nice feeling to be appreciated, to be needed in a different way than his friends and family did. Though Hidan was the last person he had expected the open affection to come from…

Within that short time Shikamaru had surprisingly fast accustomed to the freaky troublesome actions, noting the true intention behind them and accepting the gesture somewhat gladly. Thus, while watching the motionless body of his 'follower' in his arms, he pondered: how would it affect his life, if Hidan were to kick the bucket and everything turned to normal? The conclusion struck him with yet another surprise: he would miss him.

"Really, now! Who's getting attached to whom? Troublesome…", he huffed poking Hidan's nose with his index finger, but cracked a faint smile after all.

Shortly after, Kurenai reappeared with a blonde Medic-nin in tow. Seeing all the blood, Ino rushed towards him with a worried face. "Great god, Shikamaru! You alright? What happened here?", she exclaimed and said Shinobi was so very relieved to see her, that he was willing to forget about the rumours. "Ino! You need to heal him quickly. I've applied some first aid to stop the bleeding, but he's lost conscious for a while now-…", he informed her team mate, but when he looked up, she stood frozen in place, fists clenched tightly to her sides, grimaces of confusion and anger dancing on her face as she stared at the lifeless form of the former Akatsuki member. "No!"

Shikamaru frowned at the blonde. "What is it? He's on the verge of dying due to blood loss. Just hurry up and apply you healing-Jutsu, troublesome woman!", he requested more urgently. However, his stubborn friend strongly denied: "No! I'm not doing it!" Bitter tears were welling up in her hurt- and hateful eyes.

Again he tried to counter her troublesome thickness: "Ino! What are you saying? He needs instant medical treatment or else he-" "I won't heal the insane monster, that murdered Asuma-sensei! I'd rather watch him die the miserable death he deserves!", Ino shouted crying hard now. "Why is he still alive anyways? Is that how you took care of him back then?"

Slowly, Shikamaru was getting seriously aggravated. Time was running out. "Listen, Ino! You're a Medic-nin, and your responsibility is to heal sick or wounded people. Tsunade-sama must have taught you to treat everyone equally and not to judge whether they deserve to be tended to or not. Hidan is your patient now, so get your ass over here and _start doing your job_! Or should I have asked Sakura instead? Troublesome!", he angrily hissed his demand, piercing the blonde with his glare.

That finally did the trick. "Shame on you, Shikamaru!" Ino unwillingly staggered closer and knelt down beside them. Her lips tightened in a thin line and her eyes shot daggers of accusation at him, as she placed her hands on Hidan's chest and applied her healing-Jutsu. "Shame on you…", she repeated in a tearful whisper. "How could you betray everything that Asuma-sensei left to us? You're just despicable. This once was Asuma's house, this woman was Asuma's lover and her child is Asuma's child, you're living with here, just in case you forgot! Do you even think about what you put them through with having _that man_ around?", she spat bitterly.

The genius gritted his teeth. That was exactly, why he hadn't told her and Chôji, yet! At least, the Medic-nin was doing her work now…So he tried to regain his calm. "I know that. I know I shouldn't put the King and the Rook close together, but don't you forget: a King in front of his Knight is hard to attack! I'm determined to protect Asuma's heritage with everything I have, and that's exactly why I'm keeping Hidan here. This is my mission the Hokage assigned me to: to control the former Akatsuki member and keep him in line, so he won't be a threat to anyone", Shikamaru stated using some Shogi proverbs.

Ino kept shut afterwards, but she let him know very clearly she was still incredibly mad and hurt about his decisions. As soon as the wounds were healed and Hidan's veins filled with enough blood again, the blonde rushed out without a second glance or word addressed at her team mate. "Thanks, Ino", he still said to her before she was gone, but it went unanswered. However, he really was thankful for saving the fanatic manslayer...

Tired from the eventful day and the rush of adrenaline caused by Hidan, Shikamaru tucked the fast asleep man into bed and sighed deeply. He was still surprised, how much he actually cared about that strange fellow. "But I'm no beginner, who loves his Rook more than his King!", he murmured before quietly leaving the bedroom and helping Kurenai clean the troublesome bloody mess.


	15. Chapter 15

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Well, this chapter is kind of weird, I think, but it was fun writing it. To me it is still angsty regarding Hidan's reaction to such a simple sentence... o.o However, this situation is also crucial to the plot. And you're about to see why..._

_So, here we go with chapter 15! Have fun! :3  
_

_Chaos_

_..._

_Annotation: In case you don't know, the suffix "-chama" is a mix between "-sama" and "-chan" and usually used by small children only - respective those, who want to act cute._ :)

...

When Hidan woke up, he felt like shit. His head hurt as if that little girly fucktard had blown one of his fucking clay bombs inside his skull. Trying to crack his eyes open, he was blinded by the damned sun, so he groaned in disdain cursing under his breath. That was the moment, when the annoying light suddenly was fended off to shield his eyes from the sneaky attack. Blinking, Hidan recognized the silhouette that granted him the bliss of a shadow cast on him. The rays of light illuminating the obscure face from behind created a holy corona around the pony tailed head.

"Lord Shikamaru…", he rasped quietly, feeling his throat knotting uncomfortably and his chest clenching tightly, for he remembered being banned. He wanted to say something to make it up to his God, but didn't know what.

The deity sighed and His scrutinizing stare turned into a small smile. "You're finally awake, Hidan. Do you know, how troublesome it is to worry about you?", He murmured shifting into a cross-legged sitting position beside the Futon. Worry? Were his ears bleeding, and he was hearing fucking shit? Hidan stared at the Lord wide-eyed.

Did that mean he was forgiven after all? That his God actually _cared_?

His heart started to pound harder and the tightening feeling inside his chest arose further, but it was a warmer sensation this time. Lord Shikamaru cautiously took his hand to examine the scars on his wrist. "You shouldn't do that to yourself. Even if it is troublesome-…you can always come to me with whatever issue you may have. I'm…your god, am I not?", He continued calmly. Hidan instantly wanted to jump out of bed, but His resolute shadow grip stopped him from glomping Him. Instead the Shikamaruist squeezed his God's hand firmly. "Of course, Lord Shikamaru!", he exclaimed overwhelmed with mixed emotion. "I fucking swear, I'll confess every damn sin in my life and do bloody penance!"

The Lord scratched the back of his head and muttered: "Well. If it helps soothe your sorrows, I'll listen…Ah, by the way, Hidan, I believe you're hungry after that-…happening and sleeping fourteen hours straight. I'm going to fix us something then…necessary trouble… So, any wishes for dinner?" He eyed His first follower inquiringly, whose stupid tummy growled loudly as if on cue. Hidan glared at his stomach, then he grinned back: "You really are something else, Lord Shikamaru. You know I could guzzle a fucking whale in whole, before even I notice I'm hungry!"

So, He stood up and gestured at him to turn out as well and follow Him. As the deity strolled towards the kitchen, Hidan hurried to be close behind grinning from ear to ear. He was so fucking blessed, that his God would really cook dinner for him! Then, it suddenly stuck him, what was so damn _wrong_ about this: "Where're the slutty banshee and the gnome? Why isn't _she_ preparing the divine meal for Your Highness like she fucking should?"

The Lord glared at him, huffed silently and answered: "Kurenai was sent on a mission for a couple of days, while you were still out cold this morning. And the boy is with my parents until my wife is back. So, for now, it is just the two of us and you'll have to make do with my cooking…" Hidan felt even greater and a wide grin curled his lips. He would have his God all to himself without those two pests interfering! Had he managed to die in the end and was in heaven?

Excitedly he sat down and watched Lord Shikamaru rummaging in the cupboards, exploiting the contents of the fridge and mumbling "troublesome" then and there. Water was assembling inside his mouth and his stomach grumbled repeatedly and anticipating. His God would really make dinner for him! That reminded Hidan of something. "Ne, ne! Lord Shikamaru-chamaaa?", he tried his best pleading voice looking big-eyed at Him (did He really cringe being addressed like that?).

"What is it, Hidan…?", the deity turned around to face him, so Hidan continued: "I suddenly feel like craving for something really bad. So…Lord Shikamaru-chama, would you cook it for me, pretty please? With cream and a cherry on top?"

Said Lord stared at him for quite some time, then exhaled deeply: "How troublesome!" Finally he nodded. "Fine. What do you wish for?" The starving Shikamaruist let out a joyful shriek of laughter and clapped his hands before declaring his desire with an insanely huge grin: "Om-rice! I want whale-shaped om-rice!"

Why the God facepalmed, he didn't understand. He was all too happy, when He finally complied and sluggishly put the ingredients into a prying pan. For he hadn't had om-rice since he was a small snot-nosed brat! So he was even more excited now and started to fidget as he couldn't wait to eat.

Soon the room was filled with sizzling noises and the delicious smell of long forgotten childhood memories. Hidan couldn't stop sniffing the air grinning. Suddenly, he crinkled his nose, when he caught the whiff of some damn yucky stench. "Ugh! This stinks of burn!", he exclaimed his disgust, while Lord Shikamaru snapped out of his lethargy and hurriedly dredged the slightly burnt rice with the spatula and evacuated the mess onto two plates.

At first, Hidan pouted as dinner was served. "This is no fucking whale. This om-rice doesn't even look _somewhat_ whale-ish if you squint!", he complained, while the Lord only murmured an "Itadakimasu!" and started eating. "And it is burnt", he added sulking, but shove a spoonful into his mouth.

Despite his critics, soon he was digging hungrily into the food, gorging down as much as he could. Strange feelings were welling inside his chest, the emotional tide rose to the very fucking brim and a small whimper escaped his throat, as the realisation hit him like a sledge hammer. This _food_, this om-rice, which was cooked especially for him by his God, it tasted like-…

"Home!"

The deity looked at him and stopped eating to ask: "Did you say something?" The Shikamaruist put his spoon down and gazed back as if he was hypnotized. "I said…this tastes like… home", he repeated confusedly and highly agitatedly, struggling with words as he did so. Everything was prickling beneath his skin, his stomach was jumping with yet undefined strong emotion, and his mind was rotating in a swirl and still couldn't grasp a thing! He felt as if he was about to freaking burst any split second and didn't even know why.

"Well", the Lord said thoughtfully, "practically speaking, for the time being you are living with us. So, you indeed could say you _are_ home…" That, finally, pushed Hidan over the inner cliff, and his emotional tsunami sloshed until he broke down. He only noticed first tears were flowing down his cheeks, when the salty drops hit his hands. "I-…I'm home…?", he barely whispered choking on the knot in his throat. It was too good to be true, wasn't it? The Lord answered with an honest smile: "That's right. Welcome home, Hidan!"

And Hidan cried.

For the first time, the bloody hard-nosed Shinobi allowed himself to let it all out and openly cried, sorrowfully, purely and heartfelt he poured his heart out like only a small child would. When he suddenly felt the warmth of two comforting arms around his shoulders, he instinctively leaned heavily into the embrace, clung to the back of the other Shinobi as if he was drowning and buried his face at his so very caring and compassionate God's neck. His body was trembling hard with sobs and he just couldn't stop for what felt like hours, while he let himself be held.

But he didn't mind either. It did him so damn good and he felt so fucking fortunate: converting was the damn best thing he had done in his life! Lord Shikamaru had him cry away all the pent up hurt that had piled inside his heart throughout his past and He purified him of that. Afterwards, Hidan was totally drained and wasted, but peacefully void of agony. So, when he was tucked into bed, he almost instantly fell asleep.

Waking up again some time later that day, he was still exhausted, but he felt comfortable and calm. A giant weight the size of a freaking planet seemed to have been lifted from his shoulders.

How did his God do that?

Speaking of the deity, Hidan turned to one side and found the Lord lazily sprawled on the second Futon, His head propped up onto His arm and gazing outside at the golden and red and violet tinted clouds as if He was a lying Buddha. The sight produced a blissful grin on his lips and his stomach was in positive turmoil. "Lord Shikamaru?", he called out to his God, who turned His head over His shoulder to look at His follower, silently permitting him to continue.

Hidan wanted to say something, anything: there were so many things to be told, so many confusing feelings to be expressed. Yet, he didn't know how or where to begin! His divine gaze blew all his words away in an instant, so he simply stared back with his mouth agape. Finally, he managed to break the mute tension: "I'm home…"

The Lord cracked a faint smile and replied calmly: "Welcome home, Hidan…" A grin crept onto his lips and spread further, as the realisation sneaked into him. Where there had been only anguish in his heart, joy was seeping in now and made it flutter with excitement. "Lord Shikamaru", he addressed Him again after a brief moment of silence, his voice gaining more confidence as a gleeful flame lit in his eyes. He waited impatiently, until his God answered his call: "Yes, Hidan?"

"I'm home", he stated happily and a small chuckle arose from his lips. The deity sighed: "Right... Welcome home, Hidan." The chuckle evolved into a cackle, as it finally sunk in and it filled him with boundless perverse delight. As it seemed, the long process of converting was finally completed, and the former Akatsuki member could turn over a new leaf in the Leaf: Hidan felt as if he was reborn and he was awestruck by the power of his God to make that happen.

"Lord Shikamaru! I'm home!", he exclaimed laughing, ignoring said Lord's frustration.

"How troublesome!"


	16. Chapter 16

_Chaos herself's note:_

_I'm back with another chapter! :) The delay was mostly due to me being deprived of internet access, because the transmission station was damaged. It seems, the problem is slowly being taken care of..._

_So, finally, we can go on with the plot. And it's time for a tiny tad more M stuff in this slightly longer chapter..._

_Have fun with chapter 16!_

_Chaos_

...

Shikamaru was so very tired. The unusual and troublesome attention to his person was clearly taking its toll: for three days in a row he had been deprived of much needed sleep. The result was exhaustion and a slowed down thinking process. Fingertips, mouth and eyes were tingling, he was shivering, his body felt heavier and his skull seemed to be filled with cotton wool and mist instead of brain cells.

His mind screamed for recreation to function properly!

He knew that feeling to an even worse extent, though. But it was a whole different story, if he had to take care of a toddler. Hidan was a grown man after all – a full fledged deathly Shinobi to be precise!

After the breakdown some troubling weight seemed to have lifted from the taller man's mind and thus he was obviously more enthused in crowding the younger Shinobi. On the one hand Shikamaru was glad that Hidan was happier, but on the other hand an overjoyed maniac meant even more trouble for him.

Therefore the problem was how to engross his houseguest in something, that was neither too difficult to bore the former Akatsuki member nor too dangerous for the entire surrounding, so the strategist could concentrate his brains on developing the most efficient tactics for next week's ANBU missions based on the pile of data, which Intel had sent him that afternoon. Work didn't wait for anyone to be ready in a Shinobi village after all. Shikamaru yawned as if he wanted to swallow the files in one go and rubbed his temples. His droopy gaze drifted outside and into the garden painted with evening colours.

"How about you craft something nice, Hidan? Carving shouldn't be too troublesome…", he suggested when he noticed a stack of logs by the porch. It was not the best idea the genius could have come up with, but his mind was too exhausted to think of something else suitable for Hidan's tastes, now. So Shikamaru lazily threw Hidan one of his Kunai, which the manslayer caught hands down and with a huge grin curling his lips. "Yes, my Lord! I'll make something damn great to praise Your holy ass!", he exclaimed, then instantly hopped outside to start working on a piece of wood.

The sleep deprived genius sighed heavily and tried to focus on the documents finally instead of falling asleep right on the spot.

He read the papers once… twice… and a third time, before his foggy mind was able to process the information he was given. And still, everything was a big blur of white… It was true, the strategist worked best when stressed and his brain cells being fuelled with adrenaline, but like everyone else his mental talents suffered in case of massive sleeplessness.

"So troublesome…", he murmured as he caught himself dozing off several times in a row. Shikamaru couldn't go on like this, he realized, so he decided to lighten more lanterns and get some green tea and a little snack. Maybe, the caffeine and the chewing process would keep him awake long enough for him to finish work. When he returned with a steaming mug and a plate piled with sugar overdosed pastries, he noticed, it was already dark outside. How long had he been brooding on the data without much result?

At least, Hidan wasn't finished with whatever he was carving either, and he was still sitting busily on the porch. So Shikamaru took a small detour to check on him. "Yo, Hidan! Still busy?", he mumbled groggily and leaned closer in order to catch a glimpse over the older Shinobi's broad shoulders. "Almost done, Lord Shikamaru. Here, take a look! It turned out fucking great", said one grinned back proudly and passed him the piece of wood he had been working on all evening.

Unexpectedly, it was smooth to the touch and every tiny splinter was removed carefully from the surface as if already polished – it almost felt familiar to his palm and fingers around it. Who knew, Hidan was perhaps quite skilled at crafting something like this! Then, the Konoha Shinobi looked closer at the detailed form in his hand from base to top, examining the defined solid shape with little lines and ripples and curves and tiny aperture, which made it appear as if it was alive and made of flesh and blood filled veins and was about to pulsate before-…

Shikamaru stared.

What was it, that was lying on his palm here? Did his sleep deprived mind really process correctly what his burning tired eyes observed? "Hidan…", he murmured warily, but still staring. The genius didn't know, if he really wanted to be confirmed in his first impression or if he even liked the answer that was to come, but he had to be sure either way. "What is this supposed to be?", he asked slowly.

Hidan swung his body up into a couching position before standing beside him. "It's a damn statue, obviously!", he said chuckling proudly and propped his fists to his hip. Shikamaru still couldn't turn his sleep drunken gaze from the piece of wood – was it really wood? – in his hand and repeated somewhat bewildered: "A _statue_…?"

"Hell, yes!", the taller man exclaimed starting to fidget with excitement. "See, I'm going to build You a shrine. So I tried a 1:1 replica of the original and planed to put it inside to use it as a relic for my prayers and worshipping ceremonies…But I had to use my imaginary for the upright pose, You know, the actual length and all-…so I might need to fucking do it all over again, if You tell me, I messed up. But I think, the size turned out damn perfect! It can even stand on its root like that…And of course this needs paint later to make it fucking realistic, maybe with some droplets on top", Hidan rambled enthusiastically showing off his work as he took it again. "Oi, and look here, Lord Shikamaru: I also remembered to add the mole on Your right ball, I noticed in the shower earlier…"

"Wait! You…built a _statue_ of my-…?"

Shikamaru wanted to scream, but only an exhausted and utterly frustrated whimper escaped his lips. "The epitome of trouble…" This was too much! Still in dazed shock he stumbled back inside and straight to bed, wrapping the blanket tightly around himself and closing his eyes shut. This simply was too much for his tortured brain to accept. It just _had to_ be a crazy nightmare!

Unfortunately, neither did he wake up nor was he granted instant sleep. For only few moments later it seemed, there was a repeated nudge at his side. At first, he intended to ignore it and keep trying to fall asleep, but… "Oi, Shikamaru-chama! Oi, oi…"

So there was no other choice but to unwillingly crack an eye open and face the troublesome cause of his lack of sleep. A single grunt was everything he managed to show Hidan he was listening and to prevent more troublesome poking with his big toe. "Ne, Shikamaru-chama…?", the nail to his coffin portrayed his best whiney pleading voice again, while standing barefoot only an inch away from his Futon and obviously being on tenterhooks. This clearly meant more trouble was ahead…

"The snot-nosed imp and the whorish harpy are still gone…and I can't fucking ditch my duty to protect Your Highness… So, I was thinking-… can I sleep next to Lord Shikamaru-chama?" Hidan tiptoed from one foot to the other nervously, as the sleep deprived genius stayed silent to digest the troublesome request. Did the _older_ one really ask such a childish thing of him?

"I really fucking hate sleeping alone, You know… Kakuzu was always such a pussy about that and didn't let me, that old fart. But You are different, ne, Shikamaru-chama? You understand, right? So-…Shikamaru-chama, pretty please! Come on, with cream and a cherry on top!", Hidan alternated between sour pouting and pleading more impatiently.

That was when Shikamaru cracked. The only one thing in the world he wanted right now was getting at least _some_ rest, finally!

With an anguished groan he buried himself deeper into his blanket-wrap and rolled away from the insane manslayer, who let out a shriek of delight and instantly invited himself to the newly made space on the Futon. "You are the fucking greatest, Lord Shikamaru!", Hidan sounded overly happy. When blissful silence settled in, the dead tired Shinobi sighed in relief as he drifted off into a light snooze…

Only seconds after (or so he felt) Shikamaru was alerted again: first there was the shuffling and tugging, then he sensed the toned body beside him crowding him. He felt completely tied up with the blanket all around him. "Fuck! Shit! Come on…just a bit more, you damn-…", he heard Hidan's whispered swearing and he was unable to ignore anymore. The lazy strategist grunted. "Hidan! I want to sleep… What are you doing?", he complained quietly.

"Oh! You're still awake, Lord Shikamaru…", the manslayer noticed. "Then be a nice God and share Your covers with Your first follower. You don't want me to freeze, do you? I'm cold here…oi, Lord Shikamaru?", he claimed in his more confident mock. Shikamaru groaned in dismay. "Only under one condition: you stay still and quiet and let me sleep peacefully for the rest of the night!", he huffed. "I fucking swear, I will! So, hurry up, ne…Shikamaru-chama…", Hidan agreed.

Thus, the younger one complied and sluggishly wrestled the blanket loose until the taller Shinobi was able to sneak beneath the sheets. Instantly, there was warmth. Hidan seemed to radiate heat like an oven. Shikamaru didn't even know, he was slightly shivering until he felt hot skin move against his and likewise hot breath tickling on his ear, when the other Shinobi comfortably snuggled closer to his side.

Already half dozing, his sleepy mind accomplished to make his mouth articulate his rather random thought: "If you're so cold…why don't you put on some clothes first? Bought you a couple…" Hidan snorted: "Because I _always_ sleep like that! It feels better this way: not a damn thing restricts my touch and I'm much more aware of what happens around me. You should try sleeping without, Lord Shikamaru…"

"Huh? Rather freezing than waking up dead? Unless you find someone to keep you warm at night. Sounds less troublesome to me…must be a habit from when you weren't immortal yet, I suppose…", Shikamaru mumbled sleepily and not attentive to the answer, if given. Tired as he was, he didn't care anymore, if Hidan was that close, if he cuddled with Asuma's killer or if a stark naked former Akatsuki member was crowding him. Thoughts like these were too troublesome for his mind to muse over now… Moreover, the warmth of the strong body beside him was comfortably lulling him into much welcomed dreamland and he felt strangely safe and carefree.

Worries and work would have to wait until morning. Rest came definitely first!

In his dream Shikamaru stood up to get something to drink without waking Hidan. Lazily waddling through the dark compound, he was surprised to find the living room illuminated by a single lantern. Figuring he had forgotten when going to bed, he went to put it out now. Then he noticed a second person in the room kneeling down at the low table. For a brief moment he just stood there eyeing quietly the slender form before making his presence known.

"Kurenai…you're back quite early from your mission", the strategist murmured and sluggishly padded closer to greet his wife and sit down beside her. "Welcome home", he said warmly and kissed her soft lips, as the Kunoichi flashed him a cute smile. "Well…I'm home", she replied sweetly against her husband's lips and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I missed you…so I hurried to finish work and return to my boys", the older woman whispered and winked with a shy blush tinting her cheeks, while Shikamaru drew her closer to show her that he felt the same. He chuckled quietly: "Seeing you're safe and sound spares me the troublesome question of how it went…"

Again, their lips met for another kiss, brushing tenderly against each other in a more intimate and caring gesture, but flashing also an honest glimpse of intense attraction and privation, before they parted. Silently, he gazed into her bright red eyes, so he could read her feelings and thoughts mirroring in them. And his wife returned the mute communication likewise, like they were used to after being separated during missions…

"So…where is my other boy? Not staying up this late, I hope…", the mother to a seven-years-old murmured worriedly, but Shikamaru could calmly assure: "Staying the night at my parents'. Without a doubt, mother would have him go to bed by eight, or else…" Kurenai nodded relieved and snuggled deeper into his embrace. "And him?", she asked against the skin of his neck as she buried her face at his shoulder. The genius knew very well who was meant by that, so he replied: "Occupying my Futon for the time being…he won't be able to cause trouble until he wakes up." Lazily his hands ran up and down his wife's back soothingly, while he soaked up the comfortable warmth of her body loosely pressed against his.

The Shinobi wasn't exactly tired anymore. Indeed, he felt more refreshed and alive having the Kunoichi back unharmed after a long rough workday: they always found comfort in each other after another survived day.

"Tired much?", he asked, as she made herself more comfortable on his lap, straddling him for the purpose of stretching her sore muscles and afterwards slumping back against his breast to listen to his heartbeat for a while. Kurenai simply shook her head and Shikamaru felt her thick, smooth mane sprawled over his neck and shoulder. "Just want to be close…" He smiled faintly.

"Well, if that's all you need…", he murmured into her ear affectionately nipping at the lobe and observing her shiver pleasantly. As expected, his wife let out a small giggle in her futile attempt to wiggle away from his playful teasing. Seeing an opening he trailed his lips downward her neck, brushing only slightly over more sensitive skin there.

Obviously, this was more to Kurenai's liking right now, for she soon softened under the caress and showed her acceptance by ruffling through the few loose strands of soft hair at his neck before running her fingers though his tamed mop and then diving down his spine and beneath the hem of his shirt.

Shikamaru took that as a sign to continue and planted a row of sweet kisses alongside the Kunoichi's collarbone until he reached the neckline of the net-shirt underneath her favourite work dress. He felt the older woman's toned thighs tense sensually to the sides of his own, letting her curvy hips hover suggestively right on top of his crotch. How much Kurenai's husband currently liked the implication of that, he simply showed her: wandering up her back his hands slid down the broad double folded straps of her dress to enlarge her already plunging décolleté and he ran his tongue down the netted cleavage between her perfectly round big breasts.

The efforts were thanked with a little wanton sigh and a pair of covetous hands assaulting his sides and abs with sweet, but determined caresses, forcing the fabric of his shirt to reveal his bare torso on their way up his body. So, Shikamaru took his sweet time unwrapping the countless layers of the Kunoichi's dress, while getting gradually more excited himself. Still, he liked how casually they interacted to rise the tension, how uncomplicated their bodily needs of each other were…

Moreover, the younger Shinobi always naturally came along, when his undoubtedly beautiful wife was squirming with growing arousal on his lap applying sensual friction to his lazily hardening manhood beneath his boxers like this. Anticipating more display of Kurenai's pleasure, he pressed his lips onto her breasts sucking her erect nipples through the tiny net-holes for more tease with the tip of his tongue, while his hands found their ways up her thighs towards the secret only he and his Sensei had known…

Waking up in the middle of a liquid dream with a hard-on and the heat of unfulfilled desire simmering in his whole body was always troublesome, embarrassingly awkward and a bit weird. He was used to this somehow when being separated from his wife, though.

Waking up in the middle of a liquid dream with a serious hard-on and another man crowding him snoring and sleep-talking loudly into his ear was even more troublesome, embarrassingly awkward and repulsive. He had also learned to cope with that peculiar trouble someway or other during longer missions, as his current team shared a tent …

But waking up in the middle of said liquid dream with an aching throbbing hard-on and a snoring and sleep-babbling stark naked maniac, who was not only sprawled over and bear hugging him in his sleep but who also was pressing his own huge erection against his hips, next to him was definitely _the most_ troublesome, embarrassingly awkward and utterly dismaying he could think of!

The hair at his neck was standing on end and he was wide awake. Shikamaru's first instincts in this very situation were set on instant flight while screaming. Yet, he didn't dare make a noise and Hidan's strong grip wouldn't let him scoot even the split of an inch away. Thus, the troubled Konoha Shinobi had no other choice but to wait for his libido to calm down as patiently as possible, for Hidan's unconscious lust to subside likewise and hopefully for him to escape, before the nude manslayer ever noticed the embarrassing predicament when awakening…


	17. Chapter 17

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Hi, there!_

_Seeing as this story is still liked, I'm very happy and I really appreciate your patience with me. So thanks a bunch! :) _

_I'm sorry to make you wait...again. There is no excuse for not updating__ for so long - except I almost died in a fire when my car suddenly decided to burst into flames while I was still driving. I didn't even think such a thing was possible other than in the movies. O.O I can't promise I'll be able to update more frequently, though__, for I still have to recover from that episode. However, this fiction is definitely no lost cause and I'm working on it! :)_

_But first of all, have fun with chapter 17!_

_Chaos_

...

Hidan grinned blissfully and a deep sigh escaped his slightly parted lips. His eyes fell half shut as he tilted his head backwards. Almost to his limits he had fucking held back his needs until he felt like exploding any damn second! But then, finally, when he thought, he couldn't bear it any longer, he was able to release… "Hyaaa! …Ah, this does fuuucking good!", he exclaimed as liquid gushes shot out of his dick. It took about a whole minute until he was dry and empty, so his body lost its piled up tension and he could turn around to face his God contently.

"Troublesome. Next time you better use the toilet _before_ leaving…Unless there isn't any other choice, trees are not for urinating! You're not a dog, Hidan", Lord Shikamaru was seemingly still not pleased. He had been strangely grumpy and evasive all morning, but still He allowed His first follower to come along, so he didn't mind. Hidan grinned back and scratched his neck. "Oi, Lord Shikamaru, this was urgent. Don't be such a pussy about what can't be helped, already…"

The deity sighed and picked up His pannier, while He waited for Hidan to do likewise and catch up to Him. So the Shikamaruist hurried to his God's side hauling his own load. "So why do we have to do this again? This is no work for a God, damnit!", he asked scowling. The Lord dragged His unbefitting burden almost listlessly though the thicket, which they had been chopping their way through since breakfast. "As I pointed out back then, this forest is guarded and kept by my clan. No one else is permitted here. Thus it is my duty to take care of its inhabitants, mainly consisting of deer…", He murmured. "Moreover, my clan produces medicine from the antlers, which we are able to collect during this time of year. And that's exactly why we're here now – besides putting up more deer-licks and refilling the mangers with hay, even though it's troublesome…"

"Ho?", Hidan was gobsmacked. "That's fucking amazing! You reign over this Holy Land and even bless those blasted villagers with Your sacred incense and magical powders, even though they don't acknowledge you the way they should. You're such a great God, Lord Shikamaru", he was so proud of the deity he believed in, that he almost forgot complaining about the masses of antlers they shouldered until they were back at his God's temple to store away today's prize.

When Lord Shikamaru adjourned his divine presence to that boring as hell documents, He had been occupied with the other night, again and left his disciple without further instructions, Hidan figured, it was high time for his prayer!

Still lacking a proper shrine dedicated to the Lord, he simply gathered the recently carved relic of His adorable features and the gifted trousers on the table in the living room, got down on his knees before them and lighted two candles with the metallic lighter he found next to a photo on the drawer. A rice bowl had to suffice for his offerings for now, but he silently promised to his God, that he would change that also.

Flipping the holy Kunai he had been trusted with previously, Hidan drove the blade straight and without hesitation into his palm and erupted a small relishing yelp as the pain shot though his hand. His lips curled into a blissful grin and his eyes fluttered, while he observed how the beautifully red liquid spilled and gushed out of the wound and flowed in rivulets over his skin until the droplets trickled into the bowl beneath his hovering hand.

The tiny, fleeting sound of the bloody beads hitting on the stainless white porcelain seemed like heavenly bells; each drip a faint chime accompanying Hidan's prayer. So the Shikamaruist closed his eyes entirely and mentally addressed his deity while listening to the repeated tingle. He finished his worshiping just in time for his God to enter the room and grant His follower the blessing of His company – exactly as he had wished for only seconds ago. Lord Shikamaru was really damn fucking amazing, when He answered Hidan's prayers just like that!

At first the obscure entity eyed him very warily, until he stood up and approached Him. Then He muttered "troublesome…" and took His follower's still bleeding hand as if He intended chiromancy. "If you keep doing this, I'll run out of first aid supply disproportionately quickly", Lord Shikamaru sighed and started bandaging soon after. Hidan watched with a pout: "But Lord Shikamaru! You've already banned killing. So my blood is the only sacrifice left, I could offer You!" The deity stared at him quietly for a while, then He murmured almost cautiously: "About that-…If it is alright for you to tell, I'd like to improve my intelligence on how you used to sacrifice people with that curse of yours, how exactly that Jutsu works…"

The Shikamaruist blinked in surprise. "Eh? You mean the ceremony to sacrifice souls to Jashin? You know, I converted and don't believe in him anymore…I could never betray You, I fucking swear-", he was suddenly very agitated and determined to assure his loyalty to his God. Did the Lord suspect him of betrayal? That would be fucking horrible!

"Calm down, Hidan!", the deity said with a downplaying gesture. "I don't question your credo. I'm only curious about your abilities and if you're still able to use that Jutsu." Hidan sighed in relief. As soon as he had calmed down, he taxed his brain on whether his conversion actually affected the effects of his curse.

He hadn't thought about that at all... Hell, it hadn't even crossed his mind that he might avail himself of the rite ever again! Hidan screwed up his face and shrugged. "Don't know. I'd have to fucking try, I guess…", he murmured.

Lord Shikamaru nodded thoughtfully. "Then about how it functions: I already know, that you need to ingest your victim's blood, which causes you to change skin colour for as long as it takes, and to be inside of that circular symbol in order to link bodies. So, mainly I have three questions: firstly, is there a way to dissolve the Jutsu, and secondly, are you able to switch targets, both without actually killing your opponents? Thirdly, is this Jutsu applicable on several people at the same time?", He prompted.

Again, Hidan was dumbfounded and needed some time to think about it all, since he hadn't encountered these situations yet: he would have always sacrificed his enemy and then moved on to the next one as the previous was already dead… "I think, I should be able to change my sacrifices, if I drank someone else's blood, so the first one would be off my hook…and probably the curse works one by one only. Why? The rite is meant for killing anyways, so why should I spare people? If I thought someone was unworthy of being offered, I wouldn't use it on them and just fucking slaughter them instead…", he concluded and blinked at his God quizzically.

"I see. So you don't know for sure… So troublesome. In that case, I'd like to spar with you, but ask you to please refrain from using this Jutsu on me", the deity stated sincerely. And Hidan's mood brightened instantly. "Yes, my Lord! Let's go, let's go!", he called out enthusiastically, his eyes brimming with excitement. Of course, he was eager to fight after such a long time.

He was so fucking ready for some action!

Lord Shikamaru flashed him a faint smirk and led the way into the garden, while Hidan followed close behind grinning happily. Only then he remembered: "Oi, Lord Shikamaru? What happened to my scythe? You know, I wonder if I can use it again…" The deity stopped somewhere on the meadow near a bamboo grove, which created a natural and quite sufficient training ground. "Your weapons alongside with the corpse of your former partner were transported to Konoha back then. As far as I know, the Hokage had them guarded securely and stored away ever since, though", He replied facing His training partner.

"Then, can't You get it for me somehow? For a great God like You it should be a damn cakewalk, right? And it is my fave…I had it custom made. You can do that for me, ne, Shikamaru-chama?", Hidan pleaded. Suddenly he missed his longtime favourite weapon very bad; the usual weight on his back when travelling, the feel of the handle in his grip when fighting, the imprint of the cold chain on his forearm when hidden inside his sleeve, the taste of blood and steel when licking the triple blades…

The God sighed deeply. "Listen, Hidan. As much as I really appreciate your high expectations of me, I fear, I don't have the authorisation to access the place where your scythe is kept right now. Actually, I don't even know where that is; perhaps only the Hokage does", He said and his follower was down in the mouth.

His beloved scythe – fucking _gone_ and left for spiders to play ski-jumping in the dust with it!

"Then…my spears?", he hopefully whimpered in the tone of a duffed up puppy. Lord Shikamaru quietly shook his head, but offered calmly: "For now you have to make do with what weaponry we got in the house…I'll have figured out something by next week, I promise. But just don't raise your hopes too high: for I doubt, you'll be able to attain your original weapons again."

Hidan nodded grumpily and abruptly yanked off a sturdy bamboo stick, snapping the wood loudly and ripping the leaves off abrasively. That was so damn unfair! For fuck's sake, they were _his_ weapons after all! "Three Kunai, two Shuriken and wire, then!", he grunted and the Lord passed him the requested things. "Ready?", He gravely asked unsheathing two somehow familiar Chakra blades.

Hidan quickly fastened all three Kunai to the bamboo stick tightly, ran the remaining wire through his improvised scythe and secured the loose end to one of the Shuriken as counterbalance. So he still had one Shuriken and the Kunai from the previous night left. Then he crouched into his fighting stance wielding his makeshift weapon behind his back and faced the Lord with a fierce grin.

"Ready!"

They didn't waste any time. Within a split second Hidan leapt forward, lashing his bamboo scythe out at his God to try and test its range and behaviour during combat. The Shinobi wire slightly cut into his palm, but he didn't mind: he was too fucking excited with the fight, his eyes glued to Lord Shikamaru's movements. Ducking the triple blades, the younger Shinobi swiftly slid over the grass and sent out two sneaky shadow vines lurking to connect with Hidan's shade. So he jumped and zigzagged in circles around his opponent to avoid the umbrage Jutsu.

"Hya-hoo!", he shouted cackling with insane delight while tugging at the wire to direct the blades at their target in the flow of his run. It was fucking challenging to keep track of the fast approaching obscure tentacles, but he had one hell of fun right now!

The deity swung around and deflected his scythe with one of His blades, turning His back for a split second on Hidan. Licking his lips, he instantly leapt forward, drew the remaining Kunai to slash it feverishly at his opponent while managing his long ranged weapon for a sneak attack. Still, his countless strikes were evaded skilfully or blocked with swirling Chakra blades, so the air was filled with clanking and clashing noises of steel against steel – sounds, that Hidan had missed more than he thought he would have; sounds, that made his blasted blood boil with the will and lust to fight!

Abruptly, he back flipped to gain some range again, as the sneaky shadows almost caught up to him. Surely, this first combat after such a long time rusting in the mud was a damn challenge. Hidan expected no less from his God! Grinning and cackling broadly, he came at the younger Shinobi again wielding his makeshift scythe wildly. Finally closing in for the kill in midair, Hidan intended to strike down like a hammer, focussing on Lord Shikamaru's face, whose expression changed to that of a deer caught in the headlights. But it was too late!

He didn't hear it coming; only His shout distantly echoed in his ears, when he was suddenly struck down by something equal to the force of a stampede of a herd of mammoths and rammed hard into the ground, so every ounce of air was painfully sqashed out of his lungs and his mind faded into darkness.

"No! Chôji, _don't_!"


	18. Chapter 18

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Hey, there!_

_Here we go again with another chapter of this story. :) This time however, I think, I might have gone a bit overbroad... Still, perhaps, this leaves room for a little controverse? _

_And I really hope you enjoy__ the frail hints of...well, progress. ;)_

_Chaos_

...

Shikamaru sighed deeply and slumped down even more in his sitting position. He felt so very tired after the initial shock was overcome. At least, Hidan wasn't dead.

"It's so troublesome, but I understand why you did this…", he murmured facing the one sitting opposite him in the grass, who eyed him with a serious frown but otherwise seemed to have calmed down. "You thought he'd kill me, when he came at me like that. Since we were training, the situation was almost destined to be misunderstood for anyone who would witness. In fact, if it had been you facing him then and there and I hadn't known the circumstances, I would have reacted the same way and would have attacked - he _is_ Asuma's killer after all", the lazy genius admitted, finally averting his gaze down to his lap, where the head of the still unconscious manslayer rested. It was strangely amazing, how peaceful that man seemed if asleep, despite his history and personality.

"However, you see, things got a little more troublesome, and there's a purpose to why Hidan is now staying with me…I knew this would be hard on Ino and you, and I don't expect you to understand – much less support – my motivation in taking care of this particular former Akatsuki member: the both of you loved Asuma just as much as I did! And this is also the reason, why I intentionally kept Hidan's presence a secret from you this long…", Shikamaru quietly explained, his fingers subconsciously running through his houseguest's soft hair as a somehow soothing gesture.

"Does Ino know?", Chôji simply asked.

He wasn't raging, he wasn't shouting – he wasn't even shooting daggers at him with his eyes. His best friend just sat there calmly and listened, though Shikamaru knew, the taller Shinobi had every right to hate him for protecting Hidan from being lynched for the remainder of his life. But, unlike their troublesome female comrade, the big man was much too kind-hearted. Chôji might even forgive his best friend someday…

Shikamaru nodded. "She hates me now, certainly feels betrayed", he added, "but she helped treat this troublemaker when he was on the verge of dying the day before yesterday, nonetheless…" Chôji rested his big hands on his knees shifting his weight. "Of course, she would", he stated.

"Still…Shikamaru. For you to keep that man so close and even go as far as protecting him from your friends, I believe, you must have reasons. I can't say, I like him being here-…", Chôji said with a grave serious expression, "but I trust you! Whatever you do, there is thought behind it. You saw even my good points long before anyone else was willing to acknowledge me and you became my first and best friend. And if you come to the conclusion, that Hidan is safe to stay, I have to believe in you like I always do."

Shikamaru smiled faintly but confidently at his best friend. "I won't betray your faith, Chôji!" He was grateful and relieved, that the taller Shinobi didn't turn his back on him. After all, Chôji was not one to severe ties so easily: this kind and forgiving man had certainly grown strong, just as Asuma predicted on his deathbed. His support meant a lot to the strategist – especially in this delicate situation…

"I have one question, though", Chôji remarked after a short silence. "Why were you fighting Hidan just now?" Shikamaru sighed, his tired gaze fleeting over his follower's features. "I was testing his skills. Even after such a long time being imprisoned, Hidan is in a surprisingly good shape. Back then I already knew that he was an extraordinarily capable Shinobi; he still is now. He may be very troublesome, but if I'm able to keep up my influence on him, perhaps he'll turn into a strong and reliable ally…", the lazy genius observed.

Chôji hummed thoughtfully blinking against the sunlight. "Even if this guy really has defected Akatsuki – he has, hasn't he? – isn't he still a Nuke-nin from Yuga? How should he be accepted as a trustworthy ally, even _if_ he was willing to help? I know your abilities with words and logic and such, your brains is a miracle itself to me, but convincing the higher-ups of this whole thing…I guess, even you'll face some difficulties there, Shikamaru", he huffed exasperated.

However, the strategist grinned faintly and stated smugly: "You know, I've always been supportive of the Rokudaime in training's suggested integration programme: ever since the War, be it Konoha be it Suna, Kumo ore any other Shinobi village – we all wear the same Hitae-ate now; wherever we may come from, we are Shinobi, we are of the same kind, and finally our countries are at peace with each other. Children nowadays grow up without ever truly knowing of the quarrelling between the formerly rivalling villages; the War is past and history to their innocent eyes just as the fights of our ancestors are to us.

The only ones still excluded from this peace, troublesome as it is, are the former defectives, Nuke-nin, Ronin, criminals...victims of decades of war and betrayal, driven out of their homes and defiant towards the governments that made them outcasts and miserable! They still wear their former village's crests on their forehead protectors, crossed out, yes, but very visibly like waving banners before them: they still live in those past troublesome times with aggressive village-thinking carved into their every point of view; for them the circumstances never changed, never ended.

And before their hearts and minds aren't won into believing in this 'peace'-…peace simply doesn't exist, not really. For animosity is still likely to surface and flare into civil trouble somewhere sometime, _unless_ those minorities, which are deemed lost causes to society, get a true chance to be welcomed again, to clear their names, to reintegrate and come to terms with a new peaceful world, that finally accepts them back as a part of it. Just like everyone deserves a second chance in life."

Letting his point silently sink in, the lazy genius waited for Chôji to stomach Naruto's wildly discussed dream of 'taking everybody home', as he put it in council, before he concluded with a gentle smile: "Thus, whatever the cost, I'll go through the trouble of getting a new Hitae-ate for Hidan, neither one with the intact crest of Yuga nor with Konoha's leaf, but one that reads 'Shinobi'…an honorific, that can't be taken from either of us."


	19. Chapter 19

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Hey, folks!_

_Before I'm off on Easter holiday, at least I managed to finish chapter 19. So, without much of a foreword..._

_Have fun! :)_

_Chaos_

...

When Hidan came to, it was to the calm voice of his God; the sound was soothing and His words a quiet commandment to resurrect His follower. And Hidan marvelled again on how great his Lord's powers were!

He still felt sore and practically hammered: every fucking bone in his body ached like shit. So he didn't want to move an inch. And why should he? He was lying somewhere on what felt like grass, his head rested on a comfy soft something, there was a strange but quite pleasant tug to his hair when something repeatedly ran over his scalp and, most of all, his God was so close by that the Shikamaruist almost believed he could fucking _feel_ the transcending vibrations of His voice and breathe His heavenly scent.

So he kept his eyes shut and tried to focus on the revelation the deity was conveying him.

"So, why did you come here, initially?" Hidan was a bit surprised: didn't he make it obvious, that he was there to worship and serve his God and gratefully be with Him as long as he was granted the blessing of being allowed to stay at His divine Realm? Somehow, the religious man felt a sad pang clamp his chest.

"Right…I almost forgot", suddenly another voice replied. And Hidan was so damn relieved. His God didn't question him, but there obviously was some insignificant fucker who came to confess his sins to the Lord, and He was just so kind to listen to the poor sinner. On the one hand, it bothered Hidan not being the only one to be blessed with Lord Shikamaru's attention – that lucky bastard's voice somehow seemed familiar, even. But on the other hand, he was proud of His obscure Highness: Shikamaruism was spreading! People finally started to acknowledge His Greatness in this blasted village of heathens!

Hidan figured, he probably should organize service at the temple and show everyone who was His fucking first disciple and had prior rights to lead the community, before it got too big too soon…- and someone else tried to snatch that place closest to Lord Shikamaru away from him!

His musings were interrupted again, as the other male continued: "Since Kurenai-sempai is away on a mission, I thought, I'd invite you and the boy over for dinner…and finally introduce my girlfriend to you first…" Hidan seethed. Boy? Did that blasted fucker just call him a-…oh! Then, suddenly in midthought it dawned on Hidan, the little gnome was meant, not him.

But what about that shy crap? Surely, the Lord should better be begged to consent beforehand, and a pledge to tie souls together in marriage should be made in the presence of a deity to witness and nowhere else, but-…this romantic stuff was just so _yucky_! Had that man no balls at all?

The Shikamaruist crinkled his nose in disgust and was about to put in his two cents, but then Lord Shikamaru spoke again: "Sure. Sounds much less troublesome than cooking myself. And I'll certainly come meet her, if you want me to! However, the boy is with my parents right now. Considering the current situation it seemed best that way…" He seemed to hesitate for a second. "So, Chôji, do you mind much, if tonight I take Hidan along instead?", He asked. So the deity chose Hidan's company for the food offering ceremony. If that wasn't an acknowledgement of his devotion! However, the silence, that followed, seemed quite unusually long. So Hidan slightly blinked. Couldn't that stupid fucktard answer properly to a fucking God?

Still, any and every damn furious thought vanished within the blink of an eye as soon as Hidan saw the stern face of his Lord hovering right above from a new angle, that told him: he had been right.

His God indeed was close. And more than that, Hidan had awoken in the arms of this so very caring God, he had laid his head to rest in His heavenly lap and the Lord personally had protected his follower's sleep engulfing him in His divine aura! The Shikamaruist was so moved by this great sign of blessing that it made his heart flutter like a fucking chick in his chest. He felt special, chosen even!

Hidan wanted to thank Him and offer Him the whole world, if He wanted him to, but he also wanted this crucial and almost magical moment to last. So he just gazed upward at the obscure entity being totally absorbed by the sight, he almost missed how the conversation continued. "Well-...well, my house is your house, Shikamaru. Just, please-...I'm a bit concerned about the well-being of my girlfriend." "I understand", Lord Shikamaru calmly replied, "and I promise, I'll make sure no one gets harmed and we won't inflict ourselves on you too much." The other man nodded and heaved his fucking huge body up, then he padded away.

Only after the blob was gone Hidan recognized him und suddenly sat up. "Aha! So it's that fatso from back then!", he exclaimed pointing in the direction where the walruss had disappeared to. "How troublesome!", the Lord murmured. "Hidan! Chôji is my best friend, so please treat him as such. We're invited for dinner tonight, thus I expect you to behave. At least try to be nice. And don't say anything about Chôji's girth, especially if he is close enough to notice." His first follower looked at him quite puzzled: "Why? But that's what he _is_! Fucking fatty fat fatso!"

The deity scowled His best divine death glare. "The 'f-word' is hereby forbidden!", He emphasized.

Hidan crossed his arms and pouted: "So, I fucking can't say 'fuck' anymore? Is that fatso such a whimpy pussy or what?" But Lord Shikamaru facepalmed and muttered under his breath: "Troublesome! I meant 'fat'. Just, please! If you want to live another day, forget every word related to his overweight when we're around him, okay?" And the Shikamaruist accepted that Commandment.

"Fine", he grunted, then suddenly got aggitated as the God rose. "Where're You going, Lord Shikamaru?", he asked curiously and hoped to be taken along. He yawned unenthusiastically: "I need to settle some troublesome things. But since I can't take you everywhere around Konoha yet and shadow cloning uses up too much Chakra to perform it everytime I have to leave the house, I shall find another solution to this trouble: let's go visit my parents for a bit!" With that said He strolled away and Hidan was left gobsmacked for the blink of an eye to stomach the information.

The Lord had parents.

Like... _real _parents? If they really were the parents of a God, what would that make them? Godparents? They had to be Gods themselves, at least, the religious man figured confusedly. And if the Lord paid a visit to His parents' temple and took His first follower along, Hidan probably should bring an appropriate offering to honour them...and then how to fucking address them? He didn't want to awaken the heavenly wrath of a whole damn Pantheon on the very first time! Hidan felt a bit overtaxed with the gravity of the blessing granted by his Lord, yet still he was moved and proud to be chosen for this holy pilgrim beside Him.

But first of all, he hurried to catch up to the deity. "Oi, wait up, Shikamaru-chama!"


	20. Chapter 20

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Hey, there!_

_I'm back with yet another chapter. :)_

_Btw. have you watched the Avengers movie yet? It's awesome! :3 My point, however, is that it reminds me of something I noticed during the Thor movie some time ago: don't Hogun of the Warriors Three and Shikamaru look awfully alike? o.o Maybe, that's the true reason why Shikamaru yearns for the clouds and the sky so much... -And how befitting for my story, if he turns out to be a closet Aesir/Norse God! XD_

_Hm, might as well do a crossover thingie about that sometime... Any opinions? :)_

_But enough of my weird musings and on with the story..._

_Have fun!_

_Chaos_

...

When they arrived at the Nara compound, his father was the first to greet them.

Or rather: as soon as Shikamaru slid open the paper doors, the head of the household was standing there right on the threshold blocking the whole passage with his mere presence while arms leizurely but unwaveringly crossed in front of his yukata-clad torso. Shikaku's calm but stern gaze was fixated silently on his son and the former Akatsuki in tow, his lips a firm line that said there was no way past him without permission.

"Here comes the trouble", Shikamaru thought exchanging wary glances between the head of his clan on the one hand and Hidan on the other. The latter was unusually silent and creepily staring right back at his father, so the lazy genius almost expected them to be right at their throats any second. Thus, he cautiously tried to somehow ease the looming tension that seemed to pile up between the three of them like heavy clouds foreboding a troublesome thunderstorm: "Father...I came to see the boy. Is he with mother?"

Shikaku answered in his usual rumble, but never broke eyecontact with Shikamaru's follower: "In the kitchen, son...fabricating some irksome sweets." The younger strategist nodded slightly in acknowledgement blinking again reassuringly at the religious manslayer behind him, then he pushed his luck further: "So...you already met Hidan the other day. I know, it's troublesome, but can I trust you with him for a bit?" The following stillness couldn't have been any thicker or graver.

Shikamaru even quietly counted his pounding heatbeats, waiting, hoping...

Finally, after what seemed like a little eternity the silence was broken. However, it wasn't Shikaku who spoke. "So, it's true! Lord Shikamaru really has fucking _parents_!", Hidan whispered almost breathlessly, then instantanously got down on his knees and exclaimed: "Honourable Lord Father! Please grant the first follower of Your heavenly son, Lord Shikamaru, entrance to Your holy temple, so I can offer a sign of worshiping and devotion to my God's Family!"

Shikaku still kept silent for a while, but he raised a brow and stared blankly at his son to make sure Hidan was really serious. Shikamaru only sighed and shrugged once. Then the elder Nara exhaled, understanding what his offspring had been going through so far: "...how bothersome. You go ahead, son. But don't take too long."

And Shikamaru felt utterly grateful for his father's insight as he slipped past him and into the hallway.

From farther within he heard his mother yell: "Who is it? What takes you so long to get the door, useless lazy ass?" In return Shikaku grunted gruffily, then answered only half as loud: "It's Shikamaru, dear...he's here for the kid." Soon after that quick footsteps and a cheery squeal were to be heard, before the running form of a sevenyears-old came into view and the frolicking flour-sprinkled boy jumped right into Shikamaru's wide open arms. "Daddy! I missed you so much! Is Mommy here, too?" His step-father gently ran one hand through his fuzzy hair as he calmly responded: "Kurenai's still on a mission, but she'll be back in no time, you'll see."

Taking a glimpse past the child's mane, Shikamaru met eyes with his mother, who patiently waited at the kitchen door wiping off her hands on her apron. Yoshino flashed him a brief smile, enough of a greeting for now: the 'king' always came first.

So Shikamaru continued: "I have some troublesome things to tend to in town. ...And I might need a skilled Shinobi to help me with the task at hand. I thought hard about who to choose, but there was only one name, that came to mind. So, how about it? You coming along on this 'top secret mission', young man?" When he offered his hand, it was a bit troublesome keeping the serious tone straight and a faint smile off of his lips, but the strategist knew, it would be worth it. For the little face lit up even more and the boy cried out in delight. "Of course!", the Academy student nodded excitedly and took his hand right away. "Then, off you go! You have five minutes to prepare for the mission!" Instantly he dashed off to grab his shoes and backpack shouting proudly: "Sorry, Granny Yoshino, can't bake with you today! I'm on an important mission!"

At last, Shikamaru couldn't keep the smile from his eyes now, even if he had to act like a squad leader in front of the kid today. He simply was looking forward to spending some time with his little 'king' just as much. However, a soft tapping on his shoulder made him turn his head to face...a scroll of paper.

"Here are your 'mission assignments' then, Shikamaru-taichou", his mother merrily played along, passing her son a huge shoping list with the gentle force of a seasoned matriarch and grey eminence of the household. "How troublesome!", Shikamaru huffed and slouched his shoulders, but took the list nontheless. Yoshino smiled stemming her hands on her hip: "Don't slack, you lazy bum of a son! You always reap what you sow...like Shinobi like parents."

She sighed. "Ah, but I really like that boy of Kurenai's...so lively, so enthused about anything - finally someone interested in _doing_ things rather than hanging about like you useless lazy lot!", Yoshino gave him a motherly pinch that always came with some troublesome nagging, "Apropos of nothing: when am I finally becomming a _real_ grandmother? You know, Shikamaru, I've been dying to dote on a bunch of your own adorable little fawns for ages...and your father is also waiting to pass on traditions. Don't tell me, your sperms are too lazy to even swim, are they?"

Before Shikamaru could retort with so much as a small noise of disdain, the little Shinobi was back and Yoshino shoved them both towards the doors. "Okay. Have fun, you two! And take care."

In the meantime Shikaku apparently had led Hidan somewhere inside, so for now the troublemaker was taken care of. And a quick glance at the scarcely clouded sky was quite promising. The lazy genius was grateful, even though his parents were troublesome sometimes.

So now Shikamaru could focus his concentration on enjoying some spare time with the boy while strolling round Konoha and doing what needed to be done. The kid ran about gleefully excited about the 'mission', but never strayed too far from his dad, as both headed for their first stop. He really cared for this child, that was open secret to everyone, and to him there was not much of a difference between being related by blood or by law: he would eventually die fighting for the protection and happiness of his 'king', for he was practically the embodiment of Shikamaru's 'Will of Fire'!

If anything, that was the most important thing he had inherited from Asuma...

They entered the Shinobi's attire shop after Shikamaru had got the little sunshine some ice cream from next door. The Jonin left his companion to admire the variety of displayed weaponry and went straight for the counter.

"Good to see you, Shikamaru-kun! What's up?", he was greeted by a friendly face, that somehow reminded him of a panda bear wearing a cheshire cat's grin everytime he saw her this happy. "Yo, Tenten. How do you do?", he responded in his usual bored mumble shoving his hands in his pockets. The weapon mistress lifted her head from its comfily propped position on her hands and straightended her back as she blinked at him curiously. "What can I do for you?", she asked straight forward, something Shikamaru appreciated when talking business.

From his pants pocket he leizurely produced a doublefolded piece of paper and handed it to her. "Someone's turning eight soon and the graduation exams at the Academy are also up ahead. So I suppose, a new Kunai might be appropriate...and I'll take the usual, of course", Shikamaru murmured with a short sideglance at the boy, then turned his serious gaze back to Tenten. "I'd also have you forge something else for me. You'll find the details inside", he concluded nodding at the note the weapon specialist was unfolding for a short once over. "Think you can go through the trouble?", the strategist made sure, since Tenten frowned. "That's some funny request...never seen anything alike. Man, I'd love to wield that thing myself!", she murmured, which made the genius inclined to quietly add something along the lines of "for testing new strategies purposes" under his breath.

But instantly the Kunoichi smiled brightly again and nodded, as she folded the paper for laters. "But sure. Leave it to me!", she surely was caught up in her excitement for this particular job. Sometimes it was almost creepy how much she was enraptured with anything pointy or sharp, but that made her the perfect consultant to turn to regarding these things. "I'll let you know when it's done, so you can come fetch it", Tenten said while they routinely exchanged goods for money and Shikamaru gifted the newly bought Kunai right away to his overjoyed step-son. "See you around then", they parted casually and both Shikamaru and Asuma's child continued their 'mission' hand in hand.

Next was the Kage tower.

The boy would stop then and there to take in the fantastic view over Konoha or to sneak a very 'spylike' glimpse behind some of the doors, when they were following the long labyrinthine corridors. Shikamaru didn't mind much, though: first, they passed the exams committee room, so the strategist dropped in for a short chat on exam schedule, testing methods and proctor recruitment with Ibiki, Anko and Genma. And these topics were definitely off limits to any future examinee's ears.

After that, Shikamaru took the boy with him to the Hokage office, so he could further negotiate certain terms left open in his previous attempt. However, this one was not quite as successful as he had wished it to be. Yes, there was enough progress to solve the problem and be done with it. But still there was one single troublesome obstacle left, he seemingly couldn't get out of the way: it simply wasn't his to decide these things and the Godaime Hokage couldn't be persuaded to disregard.

"There can't be done anything about that! Either abide to these terms or forget about it altogether, understood? Dismissed", were Tsunade's final words before she literally threw them out and Shikamaru was, more or less, left holding the baby.

"Troublesome stubborn woman...", the lazy Jonin murmured under his breath, then took the boy's hand to lead him outside. At least the Godaime had approved of the files regarding upcoming ANBU missions, which he had been working on since yesterday evening.

So the strategist and his little companion were on their way to deliver data plus schedule to Root without any further delay. Of course, the Academy student was very much excited about the whole business. To him, both a visit to the Hokage and a peek at Root headquarters were a great big deal. Shikamaru on the other hand was glad to make his 'king' happy with little things like taking him along on his tedious, troublesome routine - and most of all, achieving all that without breaching any confidentials, actually.

The 'mission' finally was completed with dragging a half dozen bags stuffed with the required groceries back to the Nara estate. Since the kid was eager to help, he let him carry two of the less heavily packed bags, while he toted the other ones. "That was fun! I wish you'd take me along on some more missions, Daddy. I think, we make a totally awesome team, don't we?", the boy laughed waving about his new Kunai while trying not to drop the load.

"Surely. But once you graduate from the Academy you'll also have an awesome team of your own...", the older Shinobi answered and a thought of his original team back then crept into his mind. Especially the image of one particular blonde Kunoichi lingered on like heavy stormy clouds. He postponed to go and see her, though, for Ino certainly needed more time before she _might_ be willing to reconcile.

Too much trouble for only one afternoon...

Once they had entered the compound and unloaded the mountains of groceries in the kitchen without so much as being greeted by deserted silence, Shikamaru knew for certain, something was off: he almost was tricked into believing he entered a haunted house by the eery stillness. He was used to a pleasant quietness within these walls, but this time the place held a different kind of quietness that screamed of something utmost troublesome.

Instantly a quantity of theories flooded his ingenious mind as to what might have happened during his absence - and neither of them was capable of calming his worries, but made them only worse and worse! Had he been too careless, too blue-eyed to leave his parents with Hidan just like that? Had the madman-...touched a hair of their heads? He didn't dare think of more horrible things beyond that, which the manslayer was capable of doing to his dear mother and father, without rising the guilt and fear warring in his stomach to short circuit his rational reasoning. His heart was pounding too hard, too, to add to that.

So the troubled strategist let out a controlled breath and had the boy occupied with refilling fridge and pantry, while he sneaked through the corridors as quiet and as quick as he could to investigate. A couple of minutes later the Jonin had scoured almost the whole building without finding any trace of either his parents or his creepy follower, when he almost desperately pulled open the paper doors of the Shogi chamber and would almost have tumbled backwards at what was to be witnessed there, if he hadn't got hold of the door frame.

Holding his breath Shikamaru all but stopped and stared at the sight of the three people he was searching for and the state they were in:

His father looked the worst, as he was crouched by the Shogi board at the far other end of the room barely holding his body upright, his scarred face half covered in the shadows of the only hand steadying himself and his wary tired eyes conveyed more troublesome torture he had suffered than any spoken words would have, when their gaze met. Shikamaru swallowed dryly.

Obviously the head of the Nara clan had already forfeited to the insuffrable...

Hidan, apparently unharmed on the other hand, sat in the centre with the most disturbing grin plastered from ear to ear on his face and a frighteningly insane gleam to his eyes. Yoshino knelt right next to him. The elder woman's form seemed so very lithe and fragile compared to the S-classified killer looming over her, one almost fogot she had been a feard Kunoichi once, too; her hands clutching at the evidence of the dreaded deed sealed within the family treasure scrolls, that she kept so dear, on the low table in front of her.

His mother's commanding voice was reduced to nothing more than a soft breath.

"...oh, this one's clearly one of my favourites! Isn't my sweet little boy just adorably cute? He was merely four, when we took him to his first Hanami and he insisted on wearing this sky coloured Yukata and the matching sash with the cloud embroidery I stitched for him. He even tried inventing a Jutsu that could transform him into a cloud so he could freely float away...", she fondly chuckled running a finger over the picture, then sipped at her freshly brewed jasmine scented sensha tea.

Hidan instantly refilled her cup without being asked to and sighed in awe as he leaned closer: "Lady Mother, no wonder Your heavenly son has become such an amazing God, if he already was a fucking smart-ass as a mere hop-o'-my-thumb: dwelling in the realms of deities at the age of four..."

Needless to say, Shikamaru was more than weirded out by that scene. "How troublesome!", he huffed exasperatedly rubbing his temple. Luckily, his parents were fine, so he was relieved. But the trouble enfolding before his eyes was almost as bad: his mother seemed to have turned to 'embarrassing-parent mode' and let Hidan -_ Hidan_, of all people! - merrily dig through the dark secrets of his past!

Shikamaru felt the heat rise to his cheeks fast and in that very moment he wanted nothing more than to burry himself deep in the grounds of the Nara woods, where he sealed Hidan years ago, and never return...or at least join his father in drowning his misery in Sake til he passed out in attempt of blissful ignorance of a hangover, if the first choice wasn't available.

"Speaking of the devil: there you are, Shikamaru", Yoshino became aware of her son's presence. "We've been reliving some anecdotes just now, because our guest was quite intrigued about you. Actually, I'm quite impressed by your latest choice of friends, dear...Hidan-kun's been such a delightful and attentive company", she smiled at the manslayer and patted his biceps. "I'm so fucking honoured by your blessing, Lady Mother. The pleasure is all mine!", the religious fanatic cut in, before Yoshino continued with a typical chiding edge in her tone: "See? His foul mouth aside, he is quite the gentleman. Heck, I don't even recall the last time I was called, much less treated as a 'lady'!" There went a scolding glare at her husband, who solely answered with a faint intelligible grunt, and Shikamaru facepalmed.

"Glad to see you two get along, mother", he muttered unter his breath, strode straight towards Hidan and grabbed his wrist. "Now, Hidan, let's go, before this gets any more troublesome...we have a date at Chouji's!", he finally opted for instant flight as most efficient damage control.


	21. Chapter 21

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Hey, there!  
_

_A new chapter, a new story cover picture - and both in one go. Wow. :) _

_Originally I had funnier drawings in mind for this story, but I feared they might be too small to notice. The coloration was quite troublesome, though, but it's obvious a simple pencil drawing just won't do!  
_

_But enough of the cover of Idle Idol and on with the actual story. :)  
_

_Have fun!  
_

_Chaos  
_

...

"Say _what_?", Hidan let out an enraged shriek.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!", he hollered flailing his arms uselessly, as the great ordeal came crashing down on him. But the obscure deity's unimpressed gaze showed not a damn bit of mercy: the Shikamaruist was smitten to His commandments.

So, how did Hidan deserve such a punishment out of the blue?

Last night everything seemed still perfectly fine to him. The God had led His first follower out of the Temple of the Holy Family, so they could attend the food offering ceremony at the f-...fucking pounch's house.

And _damn_! If that hadn't been a feast worthy of a deity, Hidan didn't know fucking shit. He was quite impressed by the f-...fucking bulky slob. There had been lots of plates and bowls and pots piled with huge amounts of rich grub smelling just as delicious as they tasted, gallons of whichever fine drinks to quench their thirst. The offers at this banquet had been first rate, and Hidan observed that the Lord had seemed pleased. It had been due time, that someone else acknowledged the presence of a God here already - and the Shikamaruist admitted, the f-...fucking wobbly meatloaf of a sinner had done a good job to worship the Lord!

Even the f-...fucking stout fag's little bitch had been only half as annoying. Plus, Hidan remembered and followed the Lord's commandments most of the time, so the forbidden 'f-word' only half slipped off his lips - and that was fucking damn hard to acomplish, but he did it. The whole evening dedicated to praise the Lord had been a damn success in Hidan's eyes, when Lord Shikamaru and His first disciple returned home.

Moreover, the Lord had even allowed Hidan to share the Futon again afterwards. He had felt so fucking blessed, then. And the Shikamaruist swore, he had never had a better goodnight's sleep, snuggling to His side beneath the sheets that night! He had felt warm, completely surrounded by the presence of his God, listening to His calm heartbeat accompanying him to dreamland.

And dream, he did after such a long time.

Hidan did not exactly remember what had happened in his dream, though, but he was damn sure, it had been about things he liked...such as fighting and killing with a purpose and blood, oh, lots of blood that he could offer! But most of all, Lord Shikamaru had been with him all the time, watching him, caring about him, making him feel that he_ belonged _somehow.

Hidan knew, because he still felt that way when he woke up that morning and gazed at the divine face of his sleeping God, realizing they almost shared the same air - close as the Shikamaruist was to heaven. So he wondered.

If the mere presence of the deity had such an impact on his fucking life, what heavenly gift beyond imagination would Hidan receive, if he drew in the very breath the Lord had exhaled, having blessed air circulating between them like a prayer?

How much he actually was consumed by that musing, he only realized when he finally noticed that Lord Shikamaru had already opened His eyes and was piercing daggers at him with His divine deathglare. He did not utter a single 'how troublesome' like He usually did; heck, He didn't say anything at all!

So, maybe, Hidan _had_ overstepped some kind of boundary, when he had taken His breath on his own accord after all... But the Shikamaruist had craved for that blessing then and there so much. The Lord had to have known, His first follower fucking had to taste some kind of connection after a full evening of divided attention! Still, even knowing he had to do penance for his selfish sin, this ordeal seemed so damn unfair. So, the only thing Hidan could do now was hope for Lord Shikamaru's mercy:

"Come on, Lord Shikamaru-chama! Don't be such a pussy... You can't mean to be serious about this bullshit", he all but whined, and he knew it.

However, the Lord just sighed and shook His head. "Hidan, look: just cope with the trouble for as long as it takes, and be done with it once and for all. You want to be with me, don't you?", He argued calmly, then continued, when he nodded, "so let's face it: sooner or later, I _will_ have to attend missions outside Konoha again. And I can't take you along, if you don't have the required capacity and authorisation, even if I want to: you're still a Nuke-nin from Yuga, technically."

That sentence pissed Hidan off even more, somehow. It literally hurt to be rejected by his God like that! Seething, he clenched and unclenched his fists, burning to destroy something - to kill something big!

But the deity was not finished yet: "So, Hidan, if you really, really want me to be able to recommend you for squad member during upcoming missions, you _need_ to retake the exams to be accepted by the village beforehand. It won't be as troublesome as taking classes at the Academy again, promise. Just appear at the Genin test, then go on a couple of minor missions with some team until you can sign up for Chuunin exams - maybe even make Jonin, if you so wish! I assure you, having seen your capabilities and having created most of the pool of assignments myself, you will pass almost hands down and be eligible for my future teams in no time." The Lord sounded reasonable, convincing even. Still, Hidan did not like it one bit!

"I won't hang out with some little shits and snotnosed punks, no fucking way! How hilarious is that?", he barked feeling like a beaten mutt, "And exams are stupid boring shit for stupid fuckheaded nerds!" The former Akatsuki crossed his arms and stamped his feet to make his point.

Then, there came the divine deathglare again, this time with a single remark, that indicated Hidan really was up shit's creek without a fucking paddle: "You are aware, that I, your _God_, once took these exams, too, aren't you?" Instantly Hidan's anger was snuffed out, his face blanched like a corpse and he felt sick out of regret. He would never ever dare insult his beloved God!

"Ne, Shikamaru-chama...", he murmured down in the mouth fidgeting with the hem of the Lord's sleeve. "You know, I didn't-...You're so great and so high above; You're my God, after all. I would never mix You with the likes of those stupid mongrels. So, You're not angry with me now, Shikamaru-chama, ne? You won't unleash Your divine wrath unto me, will You?"

Lord Shikamaru sighed a quiet 'how troublesome', then fixated His believer again and stated: "Unless you stop complaining and take these exams without causing further trouble. The Genin test is held next week, Chuunin and Jonin exams are scheduled for next month, so be prepared. It's a commandment, Hidan, understood?" So the Shikamaruist had no right to disobey his God...

Fucking great, now Hidan would become a stupid fuckheaded nerd, too! And he would be the _oldest_ stupid fuckheaded nerd by far, ever. How humiliating and embarassing and insulting and enraging!

This fucking had to be a lesson in humbleness after having drawn a stolen sacred breath from a God's lips...


	22. Chapter 22

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Hey, there!  
_

_It's been another eternity, again. This time, I'll just plead guilty for being lazy without an excuse and even failing to update in time for Shikamaru's birthday! v.v;  
_

_I really need to speed up more, so we approach the more interesting events of the plot soon. Hopefully, I get the next chapter done within my holidays still. x.x  
_

_For now, have fun with this one! :)  
_

_Grateful hugs to all my so very patient readers,  
_

_Chaos  
_

...

In retrospective, one week flew by faster than a tiny cloud tossed in tempest.

They had spent so much time together in the past seven days, that he had grown accustomed to the other one's presence and his less troublesome antics incredibly easily. To him, interaction with the other Shinobi became a welcome routine, since the older one was working hard to abide to his instructions: Shikamaru outlined some kind of 'custom' in Hidan's behaviour, that made it easier to anticipate and to react, so it would work out well between the two of them. Nonetheless, he was still a bit weary of surprise freaky actions, that put him troublesomely on edge. It was both comfortable and frightening to have his 'disciple' around.

And due to that he tried not to muse on things, which might turn out more troublesome, more irritating or even scarier than what they seemed at first glance, too hard. Those things would likely be capable of throwing him out of his lazy comfort zone, then.

Such as that incident one week ago, when Shikamaru woke up with a strange feeling in his gut - and Hidan's mouth pressed flush to his own as if the madman wanted to suck dry every inch of his life right from his lips and out of his lungs with one long-lasting swoop of his breath! It took the still sleepy genius five calm heart beats to realize what was going on, and he needed ten faster ones more till he was able to snap out of the shock and pull away.

Was that a crazy, albeit futile, way of trying to choke him to death?

However, there was the religious issue and the maniac claimed to believe in him. So, what were Hidan's intentions in pulling off something like that? Normally, people wouldn't show such behaviour towards their target of idolatry. Then again, speaking of Hidan, the word 'normal' wasn't even applicable!

So, was the fanatic manslayer doing some mystic rite, some kind of 'black magic' on him...- another 'curse' maybe? That seemed more likely, taking his trademark Jutsu into account. But Shikamaru didn't estimate Hidan to believe in fairy tales either, so the 'magic of a kiss' could neither be it nor have any effect in the real world.

But who knew how long Hidan had been doing this - whatever _this_ was - until Shikamaru woke up, or what else the madman might have done to his defenseless body while his consciousness had been unsuspiciously floating in dreamland?

That was a totally troublesome, uncomfortable and creepy territory to think about.

And then, there was the possibility of the obvious: the implications of the nude facts... - but, _no_! Shikamaru wouldn't want to go there either. Especially if he was likely to read too much into the most simple things.

However, that was just how his mind functioned: if something already had been thought once, the pioneer thought would be irrevocably ingrained in his mind and the connections in his brains would be made, so that the original train of thoughts would become a tarmaced path for other thoughts to wander unto that direction whenever appearing, involuntarily further strengthening that path to be easier to follow next time and other times to come. In fact, the capability of his vast imagination was both the huge advantage of his ingenious mind - and its vicious circle of a disadvantage! He simply couldn't forget, he could just try to divert and repress temporarily.

So, in order to break free from that same vicious circle for at least some time, Shikamaru focussed on more trivial things at hand, the trouble of his daily routine, to dwell on. And in the process, he noticed a couple of other things about the troublemaker and how he tried to fit in his life.

For one, Hidan took his training just as serious as his prayers. He would be working out for hours honing his skills even further and worrying if he would do any good during the exams - which was quite ridiculous seeing what this S-ranked killer was capable of in comparison to a bunch of Academy graduates. Any progress was proclaimed in a fit of loud creepy, albeit joyous cackle, that still was capable of sending goosebumps all over Shikamaru's body.

The former Akatsuki was even more thrilled, when the Konoha Shinobi joined him in the beginning of each training session. While Hidan seemed utterly happy and couldn't get enough as if he was a kid demanding for another ride on a caroussel over and over again, the lazy Jonin often felt troubled after having sparred seriously for one or two hours and rather took a back seat to supervise Hidan's doings for some time and then he retreated completely when he felt confident to leave the other Shinobi to it without trouble.

For the strategist also had to get his schedule done sooner or later...

Cramming for the written exam was more troublesome, though. Hidan simply hated studying. As eager to impress and to please the religious fanatic was, he still wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. One could almost ride on its edge like a horseback without being cut, Shikamaru sometimes thought resigning. His quick temper would get Hidan frustrated with the problem questions easily, when he didn't get it - which happened more often than not -, and he would be swearing heavily and whining for mercy of his 'Shikamaru-chama' and threatening to shredd the books and scrolls nonstop while Shikamaru strained all of his patience to explain everything all over again for the nth time.

If it wasn't so troublesome, it would be almost endearing how this grown deathly Shinobi struggled so hard with simple Genin exam trick questions and Academy level physics and maths! In the end, both were always exhausted and fed up and hungry. Still, Hidan begrudgingly kept trying every day, and Shikamaru was willing to help him as much as he could.

After they had eaten together, Hidan usually either went to say a prayer in front of his 'relics' and to bleed into an old rice bowl as an offering, which secretly weirded Shikamaru out but he wouldn't argue about that, or he preoccupied himself with crafting the shrine to honour his idol diligently. The lazy genius still was a bit embarrassed that someone felt that way about him and put it on display with such a great effort, but at the same time he deemed it a good thing, that Hidan had that strong faith. For faith was a bottom-less source of hope, stability in life and the will to thrive for whatever one believed in.

Thus, Shikamaru wanted to somehow answer that belief and become someone, who Hidan truly could have faith in. Someone, who he could rely on and turn to. Someone, who accepted and noticed him...not like some kind of superior God or idol, but like a friend, maybe.

And for all Shikamaru knew, Hidan needed to be noticed badly. He was very much demanding attention constantly, especially the attention of the target of his silly idolatry, which inevitably resulted in smaller or bigger trouble, if he didn't succeed at once. The spontaneous ideas and freaky actions were the most troublesome and the most dangerous, but also the most effective ones, for the strategist would immediately have to intervene to prevent damage done.

So, without a doubt, the troublemaker would get what he wanted, either way. Hidan knew. Shikamaru knew. They both knew the other knew. _Troublesome_.

However, fortunately the religious man was rather easy to please. Whenever the maniac was on the verge of destroying something or going on a killing spree, or whenever he was simply complaining too notoriously and too loudly, it would be enough to calm him down instantly, if Shikamaru just laid down to rest his head on Hidan's thigh or curled around his sitting form. To the lazy strategist it was killing two birds with one stone: Hidan would be quiet and satisfied with the simple body contact of his 'God' for quite some time, and Shikamaru could enjoy a refreshing nap while fulfilling his job as a guardian. It was perfect!

Come to think of it, Shikamaru really did rest well knowing Hidan was next to him...

In fact, he slept better and deeper than ever! At first, he thought it still weird and awkward sharing his Futon with a stark naked killer every night, but he quickly grew accustomed to Hidan's presence, the comfortable warmth of his body, the steady breathing patterns and rythm of his heartbeat, his unique scent, the occasional snoring or mumbling in his sleep, that were all surrounding him in a protective bearhug - so much, that it felt somehow reassuring and safe, he had to admit. Possibly, it led to instinctively letting his guard down to the point that Shikamaru could completely relax and be finally capable of sleeping peacefully like a baby.

Of course, the Jonin had always used any opportunity available to get a power nap to strengthen his memory and to refresh the ressources of his shrewd mind. Although he had never been too fast asleep not to sense a surprise ambush because his well trained Shinobi senses, that were always on edge, alerted him immediately and without fail to any possible danger.

However, when Kurenai returned from her mission in the late afternoon the day before the exams in order to witness her son graduate, her husband didn't even notice her rummaging rather noisily in the kitchen until he naturally woke a couple of hours later still sprawled on the porch and with his head poised on Hidan's lap.

To Shikamaru it was almost scary how much he seemingly already trusted Asuma's murderer instinctively, so that his Shinobi senses had not kicked in at all like they should have! So far, not even towards his best friends and his wife he had let himself go without reservation, ever.

So, what was so different about his 'disciple', that he hadn't even questioned his trust, yet?

As fast as that thought popped up in his ingenious mind, the lazy Shinobi dismissed it for later to dwell upon, for he sensed, the answer and its consequences might be too troublesome for now, and he should rather pay attention to more urgent matters. Like the Genin promotion ceremonies he was attending right now!

Kurenai gently nudged his side as he snapped out of his revery and noticed that expectantly gleaming eyes were trained on him. Surely, he had awaited this day just as much...

A tiny, proud smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and he nodded his unconditioned approval. "Well done! Hereby you're a Genin now", he said. The boy cried out in joy, snatched the Hitae-ate out of his stepfather's hands, then leapt into the arms of his equally proud mother and they both laughed, while Shikamaru locked eyes with the other newly appointed Genin of Konoha. "It was a fucking cakewalk!", Hidan boasted. The Jonin smiled back mildly carefully tying a brand new Hitae-ate around the taller one's scarred neck, where he used to wear the crossed-out Yuga one. "Just as I thought. The leaf really suits you, Hidan", Shikamaru uttered sincerely and Hidan half grinned scratching the back of his head, probably flattered by the looks of it.

"Now, off you both go to meet your teammates!"


	23. Chapter 23

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Hey!  
_

_Seems like I made it in time. :3 Maybe, that's because it's Hidan's turn again?  
_

_However, before you start reading chapter 23, I'd like to point out that Aoba is in fact one of my favourite characters and therefore I don't mean to bash him. So, please excuse me for Hidan simply being Hidan. ;)  
_

_Have fun!  
_

_Chaos  
_

...

Hidan was fucking annoyed.

He had expected to be able to go on missions with the Lord and have some fun together, once he was accepted as Konoha Genin. But now he was stuck with not only one but three snot-nosed brats and a stupid fuckhead of a 'Sensei'!

Either the little imp seemed to have cloned himself or the deity had been merciful enough to hide away the other two pests in a soundproof cage for all this time. One of these fucking gnomes - probably a female one, but Hidan wasn't so sure about that, yet - even started to wail and cry like a banshee after he had only 'greeted' his teammates. What a nuissance! His ears were still hurting like shit because of the sniveling pussy.

And this 'Sensei' was just a big show-off, acting all high and mighty with his bat shit hilarious sunglasses, that reminded him of an ugly bug. Somehow, that stupid face rung a bell, but Hidan forgot... "Nice to meet you, Team 1! My name is Aoba Yamashiro and I'll be your Sensei from now on. Let's all try to get along nicely." So, he was trying to play cool, that bugeye? But Hidan could snap that weakling's neck anytime without breaking a sweat, how cool would bugeye look then! If it wasn't for Lord Shikamaru's Commandments not to kill people and to listen to his team captain-... But Hidan couldn't possibly defy his God, could he? Damn!

And fucking Bugeye-sensei was still drawling on: "...as much as I like for you to get to know each other first, let's keep it brief for now, because Team 1 already has got its first mission assignment." When he unfolded a scroll and cleared his throat, Hidan all but prayed for him to choke on his saliva.

"Our client is the honorable Madam Shijimi, the Daimyo's wife herself. So, please, treat this request with due respect and sincerity. Which also means: success is a must!" _Blablabla. _Hidan was bored and fed up with this fucker already, while the snot-nosed imps seemed as excited as fuck about this nonsense. Yet, here he was, wasting precious time he could rather spend with the Lord. He groaned and rolled his eyes.

As if he would _ever_ fail, when Lord Shikamaru was watching over him!

"The target of this mission is Tora, who apparently went missing this morning while Madam Shijimi was visiting the Godaime Hokage. Madam Shijimi suspects a case of heinous cat-...err, kidnapping. Be as it may, earlier similar incidents suggest, it is more likely that Tora just ran away...again. And now Team 1's task is to retrieve her precious Tora unharmed at all cost", Bugeye-sensei continued.

Tora... So, the fuss was all about some stupid tiger on the loose, he perceived? If he was lucky, the striped beast would rip those fucking little pests into bloody pieces with its deathly claws and fangs, maybe it would gorge them down still half alive and have their Sensei for dessert... Oh, this mission was becoming so interesting! Hidan chuckled inwardly with perverse delight. He could abide His Holy Commandments and still get rid of them all! Life was sweet...

Until he saw the damn picture! "This is Tora. As you can see, the trademark is a red bow tied to its right ear. Any more questions? No? Then, let's search the area systematically. Report in, if you have any leads to follow or even find the cat. Also take higher places like trees into account when you look for it. We meet again every two hours from now", Bugeye-sensei finished and the harpy's imp burst into a shrieking bawl: "Alright, Team 1! Let's rescue poor Tora!" Within the bat of an eyelash they hopped off and disappeared from sight leaving Hidan behind in shock.

They had to fucking be kidding him! This 'tiger' was nothing but a tiny whimpy pussy, a real one at that. The best that ugly furball might be capable of was slurping canned food and mewing like a crazy bitch instead of even drawing at least some blood. There wouldn't possibly be any killing at all. Seriously, how could this fuck even be considered a real mission? Hidan groaned in disdain, then trudged after his teammates.

The Lord had to be testing him for sure.

After four gruelling long hours without finding the damn wannabe-tiger pussy cat, he was still sulking and skulking the back alleys of Konoha. How he wanted to just go home to his God! They could be sparring together, then sharing the Lord's Supper. Or Hidan could be guarding the peace of His divine slumber, watching His heavenly features and drowning in the blessing of the Lord's presence. Or His first disciple could be working on the Shikamaru-sama-Shrine some more...Or he-

Suddenly, Hidan found himself in the middle of an insidious assault as he was leapt at from behind and thrown off balance. Instantly, he wanted to fight back and hurl the fucker of a coward off his shoulders to bludgeon him to death, but the aggressor held on tight to his turtleneck and kept out of range. "Get off, you fucking fucker! You're so dead, I swear on Lord Shikamaru's name!", Hidan yelled furiously. Apparently now the assailer was trying to choke him with a thick soft cloth or something and giving off strange noises as if he wanted to warn his comrades via Morse code, while Hidan struggled blindly flailing with his arms.

Finally, he somehow got a hold on the hot furry thing pressed to his face and tore until it came off with the feeling of skinning himself with little knifes. Eventually, he was free to breathe again. He blinked, smelled blood and his face stung like hell where the cuts had opened. However, an enemy was nowhere to be seen.

"Great! You found it, Hidan-sempai!", came the howling outburst of the little imp as the snot-nosed pest breathlessly ran over to where he was. "Huh?" Dumbfounded, Hidan stared at the brimming grin of the gnome. "So cool! This is a really fast and sly one. I've been chasing Tora for hours, but you caught it so easily. And it looks like it likes you; it's purring like crazy", the imp laughed.

Utterly puzzled, Hidan was still trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. Then he noticed, he was still holding the furred thing and it was_ it_, which was giving off the strange noise! Lifting it, he perceived it indeed was a frizzy pussy cat with a stupid red bow tied to its right ear snuggling into his grip. "Likes me?", Hidan echoed awkwardly, gazing incredulously at the cat's face with those big round eyes staring right back at him. It was sickeningly cute.

Hidan had to remind himself of the Lord's words not to kill it.

"Of course! Not even Aoba-sensei could touch Tora, but it came to you on its own. And it's purring. It likes you, Hidan-sampai", the little gnome insisted, then streched out his scrawny arms to pat the purring and vibrating furball. Seemingly out of nothing, there were the other two snot-nosed brats crowding him and getting their share of patting the purring pussy cat once it had nestled comfortably and warmly into Hidan's arms. "Mission accomplished, it seems. Well done, Hidan, everyone!", Bugeye-sensei acknowledged monotonously, "Let's bring Tora back to its owner and be done for today."

While Team 1 hopped off, inwardly, Hidan sent a silent prayer of gratitude to his God for relieving him of this ordeal. He couldn't wait to _finally_ be home and see Shikamaru-sensei!


	24. Chapter 24

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Hey!  
_

_Again, it took me an eternity to finish another Shikamaru chapter (I really wonder why I generally take even longer for his point of view than for Hidan's? Is laziness contagious? v.v;). _

_This time, we reach another slight, but important turning point in the plot, so please bear with me not explaining my symbolism - ie. there actually is a meaning hinting quite strongly at the future of this story! - right away. _

_However, you're heartily invited to interpret, look up and suggest what is meant to your heart's content! ;)  
_

_Have fun,  
_

_Chaos  
_

_..._

After sex he felt comfortably languid and close. Their bodies were still giving off heat, keeping each other warm in their entwined embrace beneath the cooling sheets. Despite needing a lot of personal space in any other situation, in bed he indeed liked to cuddle.

It was something he enjoyed quietly, something that made him feel at ease when the explosive rush of desire was slowly fading to be replaced by something else entirely: the embodied illusion of truly being connected by body _and_ heart and soul, the tender sensation of holding someone and be held in return, until they were lulled to sleep by each other's presence without any fear of nightmares...

When he could have all these, Shikamaru was usually sated and content.

Fortunately, his wife's sexuality prooved compartible to these needs and she gladly snuggled into his arms quite often, so they both wouldn't feel lonely in the face of death, that stuck to Shinobi like a shadow. Kurenai really was a sensual and delicate woman and he appreciated her, for he also knew she wasn't meant to be his, originally. Still, they were unmistakably attracted to and found comfort in each other now.

Closing his eyes, her husband burried his nose in her untamed mane taking in the sweet scent of her favourite flowery shampoo that he identified with her by now. The Kunoichi's deceivingly frail shoulders fitted sufficiently nicely into his arms and Shikamaru also liked the way her soft skin pressed against his own, when she scooted even closer while gently falling asleep.

However, tonight something was off and he just couldn't sleep despite the imperative physical tiredness. Shikamaru just noticed he was inwardly troubled and agitated; it was astounding how very tense he was, actually, as if expecting a sudden ambush any second! So he pondered on what felt so odd, when everything was exactly like it should be.

But it _was_, wasn't it?

The boy was fast asleep in his own room after another adventurous day with his team, his lovely wife was right there in his arms for postcoital cuddling, and Hidan-... Well, admittedly, Hidan hadn't been very fond of having been banned from sharing a Futon with Shikamaru once Kurenai had returned home from her mission. He understood the Genin's feelings, he even felt for him, but-...he couldn't possibly sleep with his wife nestled to his right and the murderer of his wife's former lover draped over his left, could he?

This predicament would have been too troublesome to keep it at peace. Thus, the decision fell in favour of his marital responsibilities.

Still, Shikamaru had felt as if he had been kicking an injured puppy, when he had told Hidan and had left him to stay at the guest room all of a sudden. At heart, Shikamaru just wasn't a puppy-kicker, was he? Or else he wouldn't be bothered so much right now. The religious man was deeply relying on him and clinging to his side whenever possible, after all. And since recently the Genin was out with his team all day and they didn't get to see each other much in the mornings and evenings either, the genius figured, the older Shinobi had to be feeling somewhat lonely these days.

Even to himself something seemed amiss, when the troublemaker wasn't at least within vicinity: it kept troubling him not being able to predict from Hidan's presence next to him what the killer was up to...

Quietly sighing Shikamaru cautiously released Kurenai's sleeping form and turned in his Futon, warily blinking against the dark of the bedroom, half expecting the former Akatsuki's huge shadow towering over him with a butcher's knife in hand to 'stand guard beside his god' - but Hidan wasn't there.

And it was _troublesome._ He couldn't help worrying.

When he finally managed to fall asleep he had a weird dream. He couldn't decide if it was a nightmare or not, but evidently the thick atmosphere seemed as if foreboding something grave and life changing, maybe even threatening.

The night was idyllically calm and dead quiet, yet the slight cool breeze had Shikamaru shiver in his light Yukata as he stopped his barefooted way through the meadows to glance at the full bloodmoon breaking through the clouded sky. The view was breathtaking as the dim moonlight shone onto the field of thousands of red spiderlilies gently swaying in the wind, the beautifully yet banefully alluring frail blossoms nodding and rising as if dancing to an unworldly tune.

Shikamaru bent down to carefully break one.

And when he looked up again, everyone was suddenly there: his friends, his family, his wife and child, his superiors and subordinates, his comrades and enemies, people from Konoha, Suna and all over the other countries, the young and the elders, Shinobi and civillians and Nukenin, the living and the dead alike - everyone he had ever met seemed to have gathered in this place, wearing the same kind of Yukata and holding a spiderlily each, just like him!

Not a word was uttered, but they seemed at ease. He noticed the peacefulness with which they moved in one direction, indeed dancing in unison like the spiderlilies around their calves to the melancholic traditional tune they were humming, melting their voices to one huge choir that seemed capable of making one's soul vibrate with the noise.

Taken by the atmosphere, Shikamaru was tempted to join in this kind of strange festival, when the crowd before him parted to reveal a huge silver koi carp, tall as a man and clad in a monk's cloak with the Nara's crest embroided into the dark green fabric. The carp, too, held the stem of a spiderlily, but unlike everyone else the red blossoms were missing. Ignoring and being ignored by the crowd, the giant fish floated somewhat graciously towards Shikamaru, who couldn't help but stare in bewilderment and awe, opened its mouth and blew until every single bloody red petal of the human's flower had flown away.

As they both ceremoniously bowed to each other before they started to dance, Shikamaru somehow felt strangely flustered and honoured to be chosen by the carp. It seemed to him as if he was both freed and cursed by this act. And while the pair turned and turned to the musik like they were in a world of their own amongst the other dancers, he silently admired the beautiful red moonlight gently reflecting on the shiny silvery scales of his strange partner, hoping somehow this night would never end...

In the morning, the lazy genius was still puzzled about the dream and kept pondering during his daily chores. The meaning of the symbols was still unclear, but Shikamaru sensed, this dream was of some importance. Maybe, it was due time to apologize to Ino, already, and ask her about the flowers in the process...

So he decided to do some research later on after finally collecting the thing he had requested from Tenten. However, as soon as he received the package and listened to the weapon mistress's enthused comment on the extraordinary works, he postponed his plans in favour of his instant urge to head home and put the resolve made just previous to the dream on first priority.

At first glance, it seemed uncharacteristically whimsical of the ingenious strategist, however, right then and there he really was looking forward to making it up to his 'disciple' by spending more time together that day and surprising him a little. They would probably have the house all to themselves until late afternoon, too. Shikamaru could actually picture Hidan's face lighten up like the sun breaking through a bulky grey cloud and the Genin practically flooring him out of joy, but he wasn't troubled much by that prospect and even a faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

As predicted, the house was quiet and Kurenai's and the boy's shoes were missing at the entrance, when Shikamaru arrived. Passing the living room, he took a swift glance towards the troublesome 'shrine' and embarrassing 'relics', Hidan had put up. So the religious man surely would have already finished praying by this time of day...

Shikamaru sighed and proceeded to the porch, the securely wrapped present he brought still barely hidden behind his back. The stack of logs was still untouched, he perceived, thus Hidan was very likely training in the gardens. But after a thorough round around the bushes and trees, the secluded place was very much deserted, the Jonin understood.

Therefore, there war only one place left to search: the guest room Shikamaru had appointed to Hidan. Even so, the probability of the older Shinobi being there was low, for despite the Chuunin exams drawing nearer Hidan hated studying. With dwindling hopes for success the lazy Jonin headed there nevertheless, only to see his expectation come true: the room was empty.

Obviously, Hidan was gone.

Exhausted and disappointed Shikamaru slumped onto the Futon, rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He should have known. Or better: he had known, but he shouldn't have repressed the facts, that the boy saying he was off with his friends included Hidan nowadays, and hoped for coincidences that led to the opposite - that led to Hidan being _there!_

Again, Shikamaru sighed audibly just to make a sound in the silence of the empty room. Somehow, since Hidan and the boy had become Genin, he came to realize how quiet the house had become. There had always been trouble with them around, there was more excitement and craziness happening lately than he would have wished for. But the lively noise had died away as soon as his two so very different protégés had graduated to leave on missions with their team.

How come, he of all people suddenly missed this very special troublemaker? His thoughts were full of him, wearing his wire ropes of patience unbelievably thin. And for once in his life Shikamaru was truely _bored_ all by himself.

"Troublesome! Hurry up and become Chuunin alredy, so I can seize you for missions" he exclaimed, got up and left the present neatly on Hidan's Futon for him to be seen. Desperate as he was, Shikamaru went to meet Ino for diversion, after all.


	25. Chapter 25

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Hey!_

_So this is the second update within less than half of a month already. Despite the internet connection and the site interfering with uploading today/tonight, at least I'm quite pleased with the writing flow so far. Hopefully, this'll last for some time... :)_

_Then again, I had quite the field day typing this chapter and a little encouragement got me all going. ;)_

_Alas, here we go with some more of Hidan's-...well, let's call it crazy idolatry._

_Have fun! :3_

_Chaos_

_..._

His new team was nothing but a huge pain in the ass.

Honestly, Hidan had no fucking clue as to why the Lord had been imposing this ordeal on His disciple ever since he had passed that blasted exam two weeks ago. And there was no end to these stupid missions that kept him from staying by His side...

That snot-nosed hobgoblin trio including the harpy's gnome was seriously pissing Hidan off! He was on the verge of either bludgeoning, butchering or blasting them to unrecognizable shreds, and only his God's Commandments kept those little shits alive. _Damnit! _What the bloody hell were they thinking? The snot ought to have clogged their fucking brains, or else they would have stopped bugging him by now! Every primal instinct of flight and fear from the first day seemed to have been snuffed out - just like that. They were worse than a bloody plague!

Hidan was almost at his wit's end.

Whenever the little fuckers came to pester him more, he tried to fend them off with everything he could: insulting and shouting at them, scaring them shitless, cursing them, threatening to sacrifice them to the Lord, punching, hacking and slashing at them with his Kunai, praying them to death-...but only a while after hobbling safely out of his range they were right back and wouldn't fucking go away! Did they think this was some kind of sick game or what? As if they were a bunch of blowflies buzzing around him with their shrieking cries and sickeningly cute smiley faces and impishly big eyes looking up to him, calling him "Hidan-sempai! Hidan-sempai!" ever since the day he caught the fucking fake tiger of a pussy.

What was _wrong_ with them?

At least, Bugeye-sensei wasn't stupid enough to try and annoy him all the time anymore like the gnomes did. Unless there was a mission the fucker would let him be. Hidan made a point there when following him into the woods one day as bugeye went to take a piss. Having the Shinobi wire of his makeshift weapon way back from training with the Lord ready in a hoop, he stealthed up to that unlucky bastard when he was the most vulnerable - and pulled tight enough to draw blood.

"Don't move and shut the fuck up, dickhead!", Hidan hissed into his ear, "I won't hesitate to tear off your tiny shriveling dick along with your fingers around it. And just so you know, I can and _I'd fucking love to _do so much worse...Now listen well, fucker: I can't do anything about those annoying gnomes, so God will. But you come into my fucking way and I'll take my damn sweet time making you bleed, I swear on the Lord's name! Got that?" When he saw a nod, he let go and sauntered back to the campfire, satisfied for now. "Don't forget to praise Lord Shikamaru well for wanting you alive, pisser!", Hidan cackled with insane mirth.

So he still had it in him, fucking good to know!

Then why didn't it work on those snot-nosed brats? Especially the harpy's gnome seemed disgustingly fond of him, twaddling to him all the time and annoying him constantly during missions and on the way back home to the Lord's Temple. Maybe, it really was the deity's divine power protecting the trio of doom directly...

It soon dawned on the Shikamaruist, that the Lord might have greatly disapproved of what he had done to Bugeye-sensei. For the obscure deity banned him from His holy chambers, chose the whorish harpy's company over His first disciple and henceforth withheld the blessing of His presence, which His believer longed for more than anything else, almost completely. It hurt to not be able to see Lord Shikamaru in days, when His attention was like breathing to him; his bloody soul was crying out in agony as he went to sleep alone in that cold room every night. It was so fucking hard on Hidan!

But he could do nothing but endure and atone and pray for forgiveness...

And pray he did. Every day he knelt in front of the Shrine, offered bowls full of his blood to the Lord, tightly clutched the relic he crafted in his hands as if the salvation of his very soul depended on it and kissed it with the passion of true faith, while thinking only of his God, whispering heartfelt prayers and begging for a sign of mercy. Sometimes, when the missions lasted longer than a day, he would bring it as a talisman and keep-sake, he could hold onto knowing that a part of Lord Shikamaru would always be with him.

With the money he earned Hidan even thought of coating the relic with a smooth layer of Chakra ore. He could only imagine how fucking incredible it would feel if charged with the Lord's divine power and emitting His pure heavenly essence! The Shikamaruist slightly trembled with excitement at the mere idea of this greatness, should the deity be generous enough to bless it like that.

But for now Hidan still had to repent and suffer his God's wrath: that day Bugeye-sensei had informed them of an escort mission to some high and mighty politics conference or something of the sort in Kumogakure. Which meant, he was away with the terror team for at least two fucking weeks come tomorrow! And when he came home on the last night before parting with the Lord for a hellish eternity, it was already dark and quiet inside His Holy Halls.

Hidan felt like crying.

To make a shitty day even worse, his toes clashed against something in his way when stumbling through the darkness of his room. _For fuck's sake!_ Cursing vividly under his breath he held his injured foot trying to soothe the damn pain and dropped himself onto the Futon. Due to this incident the rustling of the paper doors sliding open was almost missed, but the quiet voice instantly distracted him: "Hidan, is that you? So you've been out til this late of night, troublesome..."

His heart skipped a beat, then danced in his tightened chest with joy. Of course, the Shikamaruist had immediately identified the outline of the shadow in the darkness. However, the long gruelling privation of his God's presence and the prospect of even more of that brought him to his knees, when he saw Him again. "Lord Shikamaru...", Hidan breathed overwhelmed with the Lord's mercy on a humbled sinner.

"Shhh! Please be quiet. It'll be troublesome if you wake Kurenai or the boy", the deity whispered calmly, silently closed the door behind Him and approached His disciple, before Hidan could so much as comprehend the blessing that was finally granted to him. "So, it's been a while, hasn't it?", Lord Shikamaru continued quietly while sitting down calmly opposite his disciple, "It's troublesome that I wasn't able to be there for you as much as I intended to these days. I hope you've been well, though, Hidan. With your new team, that is..." Hidan blinked.

"Huh? Ah...", he could so much as grunt a response, because his God's presence had simply cleansed his mind from all that shit that had happened during those past few gruesome days. The Lord was just as fucking awesome as that, Hidan figured with an amazed grin, "Nah, I knew Your Highness would always be with me in spirit, so I'm not that god-forsaken lonely and those cursed heathen minions from hell won't ever get me down! Just You wait, Lord Shikamaru, I'll fucking show You soon enough I'm worthy of Your holy ass!" Somehow, his Chakra seemed miraculously refreshed and he was all fired up, now that the deity was also physically with him.

"I see. You're really determined. That's a good premise for the upcoming mission, I perceive", the Lord murmured with an approving nod. Of course, He would have known about Hidan's damn ordeal with His all foreseeing divine powers! So, in the end, He came to cheer His disciple up and bless him before the pilgrimage to Kumo. Hidan was so fucking moved by his God's kindness towards His follower, inside he was in a joyous turmoil.

Yet, the Lord sighed mildly: "How troublesome, but I really should be spending more time with the person believing in me or else I'd make a pretty lousy 'god', right? Still, if you don't get enough rest before a long-term mission it'll be even more troublesome for the whole team-... and more importantly the outcome of said mission." He motioned for Hidan to turn in and his shoulders slumped disappointedly as he obliged and undressed before crawling beneath the cold sheets. That the precious time he could finally share with the Lord would be fucking wasted in favour of something as stupid as sleep! But He was right after all... Hidan felt the exhaust and tiredness of a long day in his entire body.

"Don't make a face like that, troublesome! I got it already. It should be alright to resume our previous routine for now; Kurenai usually doesn't get up until sunrise. Thus, just make sure to wake me by dawn so I can return to the bedroom in time, okay?", Lord Shikamaru yawned and with that the deity slid into the Futon beside Hidan, before he even understood which unparalleled blessing was granted to him! "Good night, Hidan!" Like a spark, he felt the warmth spread through his body and at once he knew tonight he wouldn't be cold and lonely anymore... either he was already asleep and dreaming or he was finally dead and in heaven for his God to be so close. So for now Hidan decided to cherish the extraordinary blessing, drink up all of the Lord's presence and bask in His obscure aura to his bloody heart's content, that he could endure the damned mission with un-fucking-wavering faith!

Wrapping his arms protectively around the deity's smaller form, he was so excited and damn happy when the gesture was returned, that his head was spinning and he was grinning like crazy the whole time. Hidan couldn't even make any sense of the Lord's last murmured revelation before falling asleep: "...-as expected. Only in this case does the trouble disappear..."


	26. Chapter 26

_Chaos herself's note:_

_Hey!_

_Luckily, I'm not dead yet (or is it 'alive again'? o.o). It feels like creeping out of hibernation after being occupied with real life for so long. At least, this Shikamaru chapter is quite a bit longer than usual. :3 _

_As you are about to see, quite a lot of things are going to happen in the near future of this story. So, if you get the feeling that it is a bit rushed, you're quite right, and the faster pace is intentional._

_Also, I'd like to point out, that - just like Aoba - I don't have anything against Hinata. Actually, I like her more than most Kunoichi in the series. Somehow, though, I seem to have a slight tendency to throw even more trouble at characters I like than others... o.o_

_At least, this chapter has also more M stuff in it. ;3_

_So, go have fun!_

_Chaos_

_..._

_Annotation: I looked up the flowers with the meanings I wanted to convey, but the different sources were partly confusing, partly contradicting themselves. So, if the message still doesn't make sense to you despite my descriptions, feel free to PM me._

_..._

Time was almost up and he had yet to make a move.

As much as he might have wanted to, he just couldn't keep stalling anymore. He knew the importance of his decision very well, he understood the significance and urgency with which the matter was treated and he estimated and evaluated the possible consequences of his selfishly defiant behaviour towards his superiors with high accuracy; without doubt, the weight was heavy on his mind. However, he didn't intend to forsake his hopes and expectations until the end, no matter how troublesome it might become: he couldn't give up on Hidan so easily now.

During all this time he had been trying quite hard, effortfully yet seemingly lazily leewaying and sidestepping, taking his time putting thought into each step to be taken, carefully beating around the bush, purposefully hesitating, feigning ignorance and evading the trouble, excusing himself to protect his aims, pushing the deadline as far and as hard as possible, postponing the inevitable just a bit more... quietly, patiently waiting, hoping for the desired outcome!

Still, if he was playing the Hokage, there was no hope of winning for her subordinate, was there? Then how could a mere knight dream of escaping the firm imperative grasp of the players and move on its own, detached from the other pieces? That was impossible! If there had been a loophole, he would have spotted and taken it for sure - for Hidan's sake, and for his own. And it wasn't just the Godaime's orders but the Kazekage's, no, the General's special request, too. Thus, he couldn't wiggle out of it if the Shinobi Alliance's forces were involved in the issue.

So, with this in mind, he had done everything within his capabilities to at least play for time. But it wasn't enough. He didn't make it in time. Neither did Hidan.

The mission was already tomorrow.

How troublesome. If he was going to make a move, it had to be _now_! Or else this last chance to do so would be taken away from him...which would be even more troublesome. So, the final decision was made. And this time, Shikamaru wouldn't back down but enter the fray with determination - and a bunch of flowers in hand for now.

"It's about high time for you to finally show up, lazy-ass!", the blonde greeted him with a hiss even before his foot had so much as crossed the threshold. He sighed and proceeded towards the counter. "Troublesome. If I'd come right away you wouldn't have accepted my apology, would you?", he stated with a faint smile while observing her rummage about the room and trim the flowers as if he was invisible. "Who said I was going to, anyway? How could I ever forgive you, damn liar! Traitor!", the florist shouted, suddenly twirled around and pointed the sharp pruning-shears at him as if ready to clip off his head by his throat like a putrid bud any second.

But the fact, that Ino was finally willing to talk to him at all, already meant Shikamaru was halfway to absolution. Surely, the Kunoichi was still hurt badly and grieving from what she could only have interpreted as his treason to his teammates and Asuma.

But here he was, after all...going out of his way, reaching out to his best female friend, trying to mend the dent in her trust he had caused. "I understand. Now, calm down, troublesome...why don't you put these away and at least take a look, Ino. If you don't tend to them, flowers will wilt, right?", Shikamaru murmured and lifted the bouquet like a defensive shield. The blonde snatched the poor flowers out of his hands with a scowl and turned her back on him. While she was looking for a suitable vase Ino obviously gave him the cold shoulder.

"Ino-...", he tried therefore, but she only threw a tattered stem of fern at him to shut him up. "Beat it, Shikamaru! I know you don't like talking at great length, you lazy-bum! So I'm not going to listen to your awkward stuttering, anyways", she gritted her teeth, then continued rearranging the bouquet he had gone through the trouble of picking. "...at least, I hope, you're really triple sorry for betraying our friendship like this, picking these tons of pepper mint, squill and chestnut blossoms...", the florist pouted quietly. He made an affirmative noise and approached her cautiously.

So Shikamaru was right to convey his message through the flowers and he was glad he had looked up their meanings before plucking them in the woods earlier.

Surely, the mallows and myrtles wouldn't go unnoticed either and she'd instantly understand how he still felt about their friendship... When he saw Ino's hunched shoulders tense more, he knew she was trying to suppress a sob and he owed her to say something, anything at least. The strategist chose the truth to be the best he could offer for comfort: "You know, I truly am. It's very troublesome for me, too, because I didn't mean to hurt my _best friends_. So I chose to not tell you for the time being. I swear to the Will of Fire, I certainly did not abandon our team, nor did I betray Asuma's heritage... I do have my reasons for keeping Hidan, though." Helpfully he reached around her seemingly fragile form and gently pointed at the Venus's hair, corn poppies and the white rose to underline his calm words.

After Ino had finally spilt her bitter tears and had clung to his side until the worst was over, Shikamaru then knew for sure she would come around eventually and their friendship was still good. Yet, he better left in time before her husband came back from his atelier, got any wrong ideas and set his ink beasts at him for making Ino cry... Sai still could be quite troublesome at times, especially if he misread the atmosphere. Again.

So, Shikamaru rather turned his previous resolve into action and headed home in order to spend the last night before the troublesome mission with Hidan. It might do them both good, he figured... However, the troublemaker was out later than expected and the lazy Jonin fell asleep while waiting for the older Genin to return. He had another dream then, but it was more realistic this time, for it was roughly based on facts and incidents that had occurred in real life some time ago. His subconscious had then put everything together with his current situation and concocted and distorted the information into an entirely new story.

The strategist was urgently summoned to the Hokage office to receive orders for a special mission. There was an outbreak of a yet unknown and highly infective disease in Konoha. Twenty-one people were sent to hospital immediately after collapsing in the streets on the first day, of which nine had already died in intensive care within the next two days so far. The Medic-nin were pouring every ounce of Chakra into healing the rapidly growing number of patients, Shizune, Sakura and Ino never left the research labs these days and the whole village was closed off and put to quarantine. But the effort was futile without a real cure and the mortality rate was increasing to 75% already while the dangerous infection was spreading even faster.

When the boy fell ill just last night and the kid was barely clinging onto dear life, Kurenai and her husband were devastated!

Apparently, though, the last sparkle of hope was the secretion of a rare lice that might provide an antidote if cultivated. Thus, in a hurry a team of four was formed to capture that insect and retrieve as much of the secretion as possible. The Godaime assigned Shikamaru to be the captain while, of course, Shino's vast expertise on the subject and Hinata's extraordinary eyesight would be just as crucial to the success of the mission.

However, the rarity of the lice aside, there was another problem to it, which lied in its size: the troublesome creature was so extremely tiny, that it could even fly - or rather: hop - under the otherwise all-seeing radar of the Byakugan. The genius finally came up with an experimental variation of Henge-no-Jutsu, that would shrink the entire mission party to bug-size and last for about forty-two hours tops. Which left Shikamaru barely enough time to save the boy!

Since the Jutsu was still untested and more of a forced makeshift than anything, it was a risky feat. But they had no time left to spare with everyone's lives on the line.

Swiftly, preparations for leave were made and Chakra seals were painted onto the team's skins, so the Godaime's, Kakashi's and Yamato's combined force could activate them: the four Shinobi very probably wouldn't be able to spare even an ounce of their own Chakra on the Jutsu during the mission.

When everything was set, Shikamaru just sighed and closed his eyes in an attempt to relax and wait for the effects of the Jutsu. Shino's Kikaichuu were agitatedly buzzing around the place, sensing the tense atmosphere and the inner nervousness of their master. With one of his senses closed off, the humming noise was growing louder steadily, stinging in his ears. Until the strategist felt as if he was witnessing an earthquake of sound and his whole body was resonating with the low tingle. Then tingling turned to trembling, while trembling turned to shaking. A hot white, sharp pain unlike anything else spread through his body as if every bone shattered into microscopic shards, as if his very flesh turned to jelly and his blood boiled, bubbling in its vessels, by mere vibration.

It was unbearable.

Tortured cries, hardly human anymore, added to the cacophonic mix. Shikamaru didn't know if they were his teammates' or his own. The searing pain shredded any and every coherent thought; it was overwhelming. He just passed out.

And when he came to the world was completely different.

Still exhausted from the pain, the strategist wearily heaved his body up and steadied himself on a boulder, that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. His ears were still ringing with the deep hum and he shook his head to get a grip. Taking a deep breath the team captain then looked around for the other three Shinobi.

At first glance, he was by himself in an unfamiliar place - some kind of strange forest wilderness, he perceived. The dim light shone in shades of green due to the sheer amount of plants; high green trunks and overgrown thicket everywhere, whereas the ground was rocky, gnarled and moist. Nature smelled fresh and foul at the same time, and so much more intense than he was used to. Somewhere in the far distance above the huge tree tops the sky seemed to consist of even more giant tree tops instead of clouds. If the night sky didn't have one already feel small, this more than supersized jungle surely would! _How troublesome. _

Shikamaru sighed, shouldered his pack and infused the soles of his feet with some Chakra, so he could access higher places and find his way better. There was a lot at stake after all! With this new perspective navigation was a rather troublesome ordeal, even on grounds that once were so familiar from a different point of view. However, soon the lazy Shinobi spotted his fellow teammates crawl about not too far away from his vantage point. So he hurried there, secretly relieved to see them alive.

When he arrived, Hinata was awkwardly bumping from one giant leaf to another as if they were jumping-sheets, while Shino silently watched her on her way down. The bug master was sloppily crouched on a small boulder, which they once had considered a mere crumb of dust, and two of his Kikaichuu had obviously stayed with him and were feasting on his Chakra. The Shinobi seemed tired from the Jutsu, but otherwise well.

"Let's get on with the troublesome mission, then. We don't have much time", Shikamaru lazily murmured once everyone had gathered, "Shino, please lead the way: you know best where to find these troublesome lice. Hinata, your objective is primarily to detect our targets, so we can bring home as much secretion as possible. Have Shino tell you what to look for specifically. Also, everyone, please, be aware of yet unknown numbers of predators lurking out there: due to our current change in size we have all taken backwards several steps on the food chain, troublesome as it is. Treat this mission as if in war - with Mother Nature herself as our enemy!"

In pairs they climbed onto the backs of the Kikaichuu and shortly after they took off abruptly, accelerating fast and faster. In their current state, the bugs seemed to Shikamaru like elephants with the flying speed of a kestrel. So he had to hold on very tight to get a hold somewhere on the hard, smooth exo-skelletons in order not to fall off.

"Wow! This is fucking awesome!" At least Hidan was having fun. The strategist doubted whether the immortal maniac understood how grave their situation really was, but he was glad to have him on his team. His powers and skills would be a helpful resource to delve into when fending off dangers.

Somehow, with Hidan around Shikamaru felt more confident that they could actually succeed, albeit the chance was slim enough. The fate of the whole village depended on them, for the disease was spreading further. Many people were dying,_ his boy _was dying... But there was no time to worry, if he couldn't do anything about the circumstances back there! Instead, he had to focus on the things he actually could do, here and now.

For once, Hidan's cackle resounding over the roaring of the Kikaichuu's wings was capable of calming his troubled nerves down. At least to Shikamaru it was the right choice bringing the Genin.

They flew until dawn without finding any trace of the lice. Shino was still drained because the (in comparison to his size) relatively big Kikaichuu had fed on his Chakra almost too much and Hinata's eyes hurt due to nonstop Byakugan use. Shikamaru could see that. So he considered a short rest soon. He also was tired, since Hidan had helped him fight a couple of curious and hungry mosquitos, tall as a man and troublesome as burdock.

Finally, it started to drizzle.

Heavy with gravitation the droplets splashed down like liquid bombs in a crossfire cascade and exploded on impact into thousands of even tinier bubbles of water messing up the ground and having the swarming mass of insects, worms and other little vermin wiggle and scurry for their dear lives, so they wouldn't drown in the pooling puddles of mud and rainwater that quickly joined to torrents. A strong Suiton-Jutsu couldn't have been any more of a deathly threat than what the simple rain had become to the microsized Shinobi. And the harder it rained the more trouble the Kikaichuu had evading nature's wet air-raid.

"This is getting troublesome", Shikamaru muttered ducking his head behind Hidan's broad shoulders just in time to be barely missed by one of those water missiles. Apparently, the Hyuuga heiress was not so lucky, he could tell by her pained, yet muffled cry and Shino's alarmed voice when the Kunoichi was violently thrown off the bug: "Shikamaru-taichou!"

"Ah!", the genius replied affirmatively and instantly performed the required hand seals relying on his disciple to hold him tight, "Kageyose-no-Jutsu!" His shadow vines stretched quickly and reached out to catch the falling Hinata. But along with his body size the maximum range of his shadow had shrunk drastically, regardless of how fast he was or how much he exerted his abilities. There was only so much he could do.

He missed her by an inch's width and the unconscious Kunoichi disappeared within the mossy thicket below. "No! Hinata!" "We've got to go down there and find her quickly. If she survived the fall, she might still drown in this weather", Shikamaru called out, refusing to give up just yet, and Shino commanded his bugs to u-turn and spiral down.

Entering the undergrowth of the giant meadow, it soon became obvious that the earth had turned into some kind of swamp or stream delta shaking with the continuous eruptions of watery bombs. It was almost pitch-black and the dripping, gnarled moss made it hard for the bugs to navigate in midair, too.

Finding Hinata's body seemed almost hopeless.

"Ne, Shikamaru-sama..." The remaining team members were soaking wet, exhausted and hungry by this time, and they were still putting themselves out in danger without knowing if it wasn't already too late to save their lost comrade. So, the strategist was not surprised to hear Hidan complain; the Genin didn't even know the shy Kunoichi in the first place. "Shikamaru-sama... Oi, oi!"

Still, it was so very frustrating! So _troublesome_! After failing to retrieve Sasuke on his first mission as a Chuunin captain, Shikamaru vowed not to fail his team ever again; after loosing Asuma, he vowed not to let his comrades die ever again. Yet, here he was, Konoha's supposedly smartest strategist, General Gaara's proxy, a Jonin captain - and_ still _his team member was literally down the drain, injured, maybe even dead! With Hinata gone the success of the mission was endangered, so were everyone's lives.

And he was only being pathetic again. "Tch. So troublesome, troublesome, troublesome."

"Damnit, Shikamaru-sama! You fucking listening?", Hidan's voice boomed loud enough to alert him into attention. When the other two were about to give up hope, the older Shinobi had plunged even further into the open rain, waded through the mud and debris without fear of the deathly raindrop bombs and mercilessly chopped his way through the moss and fungus thicket with the scythe Shikamaru had donned him. "What the fuck am I supposed to do with that evil stare-maneater-chick, now? For being so short she's fucking heavy!"

For just an instant Shikamaru's heart stopped. His head whipped around and he could all but stare into the semi-darkness, hoping he was not seeing things he wished to be _there. _But after a couple of rain-rimmed blinks the silhouette was still there: scooped in Hidan's strong grip there truly laid a lithe female body. Pale and limp like a porcelain rag doll, Hinata was soaked and smudged as if dragged through a cesspool, but aside from being unconscious she looked only slightly bruised and battered. It seemed like a heavenly miracle that the Genin had found her alive and breathing in this troublesome deathtrap!

Shikamaru was so very relieved and grateful, he could have kissed Hidan then and there. It really was a good choice to have his follower on the team, after all. "Let's find some shelter for the night, get out of the troublesome rain and have some rest", he decided with a small smile, patted Hidan appreciatingly on the back and nodded at Shino, who wordlessly relieved the Genin of the Kunoichi and took care of her body.

It was pitch-dark when they found an unoccupied knothole in an oaktree that was barely big enough to house a salamander, but to the microsized Shinobi it seemed as if they were residing in royal halls - minus all the modern conveniences, of course. The deathly rain had become even heavier by then, so they were rather chilled to the bones, dripping wet like a pack of drowned rats and caked with dirt and mud from head to toe when they entered the uninviting draughty, gnarled place. Exhaust was already showing in their eyes and this was only the first day. Hidan's comment couldn't have been more on the dot: "Holy shit! You pussies look miserable as fuck!" But he wasn't one to talk either. Shikamaru could tell, so he let it slide.

They couldn't afford to catch a cold or worse - not here, not now! - so the Shinobi wrestled off their soaking wet attires and tried to make themselves as comfortable as possible on a makeshift cushion consisting of the crumbling remnants of a dried leaf from last autumn, they discovered somewhere in the back of the knothole. Shikamaru considered a fire to dry them off and keep them warm too risky, because the light would likely lure numerous predators to their current hideout and make them sitting ducks. Instead they repeated after the Kikaichuu and huddled together in pairs. Conveniently, Shino volunteered to take the night watch, and the team captain approved gladly. In his own taciturn way the introvert bug expert would fuss over his female comrade, anyways, so he might as well stay up and keep an eye on things. With a tired smile and a heartfelt yawn the lazy strategist left Shino and his longtime friend to themselves and silently hoped for Hinata to fall out of love one day...

Right now, he had other and more urgent problems to solve. And even when this trouble was all over and done with, he certainly would not start meddling!

Closing his eyes he tried to get some rest, but the cool night wind was howling and blowing moist air into their little refuge. Also he was feeling the strain of the shrinking-Jutsu on their bodies: the clock was ticking fast against them, and the more time they spent microsized without finding the troublesome lice the more the reaper's ghastly grip around their necks became palpable. His nerves were quietly running borderline on frenzied devastation, when on his mind's eye he imagined the kid suffering and dying miserably in Konoha's hospital while his 'daddy' was out there listed as appetizer on today's menu for frogs, woodpeckers or even ants. If it wasn't so fatally serious, he would have laughed at the irony of his fate.

Trying to shut out the slowly growing grating in his bones and the slight stinging in his lungs and blood vessels caused by the longtime effects of the Jutsu, Shikamaru shifted closer to Hidan beside him. Somehow, the warmth and sounds of familiar breathing patterns and heartbeat were a bit comforting, soothing even... And they clung to each other as if it was for dear life - maybe it was!

But none of the four Shinobi were able to get any sleep that night.

As soon as dawn was breaking they popped in one of Sakura's disgusting soldier pills each, left the knothole and continued their mission. The rain had lifted, luckily, but the air was still very moist. If they had had their normal size, they wouldn't have noticed, but right now it seemed almost hazy to the tiny team. Breathing became a hardship when they inhaled almost half a gulp of water each time their lungs demanded oxygen. And their unaccustomed hearts were pumping too fast to keep their systems running for their own good. At least the occasional painful and pitiful wheezing and coffing was drowned out by the booming buzz of the Kikaichuus' wings, as they sped through the supersized thicket and undergrowth. However, it became more and more obvious that human bodies were not made for the life of a bug.

By noon Shikamaru's head was throbbing with the rhythm of his pulse and he was blinking against the troublesome dizziness swimming before his bloodshot eyes, but he willed himself to ignore. They still hadn't found _anything_ yet to save the village, to save the boy! Next to him, a cursing Hidan snorted repeatedly and tried unsuccessfully to pull the blood back up, that was running from his nose and down his chin. And another glance to the second flying elephant of a Kikaichuu told him, that the slightly recovered Hinata might collapse again any second, and her bespectacled teammate wasn't looking any better.

They needed to get a hold of these troublesome lice before their bodies revolted too much against the Jutsu and got them killed. And if that happened, all hope was lost!

The genius refused to give up so easily, but the burden of responsibility did not exactly help him think straight as he tried to recall what little information he had on the insect. Then suddenly it hit him hard like the horrible stench of putrid, rot and decay that entered his nose and almost had him throw up instantly: the lice lived and fed on a special kind of fungus, that was characteristic for its very distinct stink. "Shino, let's go down here! I think, we're finally on the right track", he hollered over the deafening thumping of the bugs and pointed at the mossy shrubbery of fungus beneath them. The Chuunin agreed with a nod and commanded his Kikaichuu into a nose diving landing approach. Shikamaru could not distinct if his stomach was churning because of this manoeuvre or due to the disgusting stench, but he had to fight his retching reflexes until his eyes watered. Obviously, the poor Hyuuga heiress lost to hers once they landed in the middle of the hell of stink. But the strategist could not spare any time for sympathy right now and turned away.

For there they were: a whole herd of small, grotesquely formed creatures hopped and crawled between the gooey stems of fungi suckling here and there on the smelly beads of juice. Even relative to the shrunk Shinobi the sickly white lice had the size of a rabbit - they even moved like one. Shikamaru felt utter relieve seeing them, but he did not dare sigh or breathe deeply, or else he would probably join Hinata on the sidelines puking his guts out. So he unfastened his Hitae-ate and used it to cover his nose and mouth. His teammates did likewise. The horrible stench was still overwhelming and almost unbearable, but there was no way about it and they knew it: the troublesome lice hunt and milking began...

Together the team of four captured and squeezed the quick, struggling insects dry, then packed as much of the life saving secretion into as many scrolls as they could carry and more. Time was almost up, Shikamaru could feel it in every fibre of his being, and they were all on the verge of either collapsing from exhaust or bursting from the conflict between their bodies and the Jutsu.

If they made it back to Konoha in time, he did not know - and probably never would. For he woke before the nightmare was truly over. _Troublesome!_ It was still dark outside, but Shikamaru got up never the less to reassure himself that the boy and his wife were safe and sound. It did the world of good to see their peacefully sleeping faces.

Afterwards he groggily waddled over to Hidan's room to check on his favourite troublemaker as well. When he noticed the older Genin was still awake, he decided to stay with him until it was time to get ready for the troublesome mission.

The lazy Jonin had hoped the religious Shinobi could have made Chuunin at least by then. If that had been the case, he would have simply grabbed his follower and taken him, so his superiors could have shoved their troublesome nagging right where the sun didn't shine: off they would have been for as long as that troublesome mission lasted...just the two of them. Hardly anyone would have been able to cross their combination, so the bet would have been relatively safe.

Shikamaru had intended to bond with Hidan then, to hopefully deepen and change their weird relationship into-...something more _equal, _perhaps.

But the Hokage had had other plans, obviously, and stubbornly insisted Shikamaru rather went the day before yesterday than the day after tomorrow! So, begrudgingly her loyal Shinobi mumbled his complaint and asked for the team constellation, that at least was available to him and still likely enough to succeed, instead.

Early the next morning, the lazy genius said goodbye to a still sleepy Kurenai with a brief embrace and a kiss, while Hidan and the boy were already at their mission briefing with Aoba. "Take care, okay?", she murmured into his protective vest, gently brushing imaginary dust off the thick olive fabric, "I don't think I could bear a repetition of eight years ago..." Shikamaru fondly, yet sadly smiled at that, his thoughts with Asuma for a fleeting moment, and gave her another reassuring kiss on the forehead. "Well, it's just a troublesome diplomatic mission, not a manhunt for S-class criminals, that I'm off on...", he replied, shouldered his backpack and trudged towards the village gates just in time to meet the also departing Team 1.

"Hey, Dad! Are you leaving on a mission, too? What a coincidence!" The boy waved at him happily, once he noticed his stepfather's approach. "Where are you off to? Maybe we could go together for a while. That'd be awesome!", he grinned. Shikamaru stopped in front of him and caringly ruffled the Genin's fuzzy dark hair, then calmly locked eyes with Hidan. He was about to answer, when Aoba cleared his throat. "In fact, we get to travel together the whole time: Nara Shikamaru-kun has the very same destination we have. That's because he is Team 1's client this time, and it's _him_ we escort to the semi-annual Shinobi Alliance Assembly's Congress and back", the squad leader stated and adjusted his sunglasses. "For real?", the boy beamed even more, hugging Shikamaru's waist out of joy. The lazy Jonin simply nodded, his stern gaze never leaving his follower's unblinking eyes, that kept staring back at him with a manic glint in them. But otherwise Hidan stayed surprisingly silent and serious, that it almost seemed eery.

A couple of hours later the strange atmosphere had completely lifted: the two little Genin and the Kunoichi were obliviously chatting about what Kumogakure might be like and if they would have time to go sightseeing, their Sensei was quietly taking rearguard and Hidan was staying devotedly close to Shikamaru like the perfect bodyguard and disciple to his 'god'. He noticed the religious man was in quite a good mood and it seemed to brighten further the farther they left Konoha behind. Obviously, the taller Shinobi just needed some time for things to finally sink in...

Taking the kids' stamina into account, they took a few breaks throughout the first day until they finally settled camp in a secluded clearing for the night. The sun was still up, but the campfire atmosphere was just as nice during field dinner and Shikamaru approvingly observed, how the three little Genin unreservedly and carefree included their older teammate in their conversations and seemed to look up to their 'Hidan-senpai' the way only a child could. Especially, and almost ironically, Asuma's son appeared to be fond of the madman. Sometimes, Hidan would retort with his usual bickering and colourful cursing, but to the strategist it seemed as if they got along just okay.

However, Shikamaru was also glad for the little distraction, because his follower had been literally crowding him ever since the village Gates had closed behind them, and he was tired due to the constant attention on his person. He wasn't feeling that well and he seriously needed some rest before the dull headache became more troublesome. After all, an escort mission was just the right trouble for an object of fanatic idolatry like him! Still, he wouldn't have it any other way, if it meant spending time together.

Yawning deeply, he put his field dishes and chopsticks aside, stood and crawled into his tent to unfold his sleeping bag and prepare for the night. Hidan, however, was right on his heels and Shikamaru all but bumped into his chest with a little surprised yelp, when he half-turned to unzip his vest and unbuckle his gear. "How troublesome. What are you doing in here, Hidan?", he asked warily and still a bit startled. The taller Shinobi didn't budge in the slightest but started to take off the short-sleeved netshirt he agreed to wear as minimum Shinobi attire, instead. "It's my fucking duty to guard Your holy ass 24/7, Lord Shikamaru. So, that's what I'm doing, obviously", he replied unfazed, eyeing the now very cramped tent.

Shikamaru sighed and rubbed his temples. "Well, I do appreciate your trouble. But this is just a troublesome diplomatic mission, and I really don't expect someone, _anyone at all_, to come and try to ambush someone like me...I'm not a Kage or something. It's a long way to Kumo. Why don't you take it as a paid holiday and relax for a bit?", he relativised, then added after considering Hidan's bared torso: "Besides, I don't see how it is necessary to undress during your watch."

The religious maniac clicked his tongue and put his fists on his hip. "Well, duh. I'm sleeping next to my Lord, of course, so I can stay guard all the time. This stupid thing looks a bit measly for the two of us, though. But, honestly, I hardly care shit: You know I fucking like having You close at night...", he nudged the sleeping bag suspiciously with his toes, then grinned broadly at the tired strategist.

Shikamaru only facepalmed. "Hidan, seriously. We're on a mission, and right now I'm your client, not your teammate. You can't stay here and share my bed like we used to at home. Please, go sleep at your team's tent like you're supposed to", he murmured through gritted teeth as he felt the foreboding twinge of a migraine forming behind his ears and at the front.

However, oblivious to his idol's suffering, Hidan decided to be stubborn, his lips curling into a defiant pout: "Don't be such a pussy, Shikamaru-chama! That damned trio of doom is annoying as fuck, and bugeye-sensei is such a weak pansy, I can't fucking stand it! Why can't I just stay with You? How the fuck am I to fulfill my duties and be of service to my God, if I'm not around, huh?!" His arms flailed in wild gestures as he tried to make his point. "Come _on_, Shikamaru-chama! I don't even see You that often anymore. And just last night it was still okay to sleep together and You wanted it, too, I know that. I'm not fucking stupid."

Shikamaru was just sick and tired. He had no energy left to argue with the headache thudding more and more prominently. "So very troublesome!", he groaned in an annoyed tone, slumped backwards onto his sleeping bag in a most space-claiming way and covered his closed eyes sluggishly with one arm. "Well, Hidan, since I'm your '_god_' you have to abide by my will, regardless of whether you want to or not, so go suck my dick! This is troublesome. I won't argue with you anymore, so take it like a man without troublesome bickering and just do as I say for once", he hissed irritably with pain and hoped he would be finally left alone for now.

At least, that shut Hidan up, for a long and heavy silence ensued afterwards.

When after a while Shikamaru heard the other Shinobi shuffling quietly and slowly, he expected him to leave and sulk, so he would finally be able to sleep the headache off. Thus, he didn't bother to move at all and instead tried to relax and doze off...

It didn't register as what was really happening, at first, when out of the blue his pants and netleggings were yanked down to his knees in a single movement. But he was wide awake with a surprised gasp, once a hot mouth assaulted his privates! "H-Hidan! What the-...wai-...! I didn't m-...mnnh!", he could barely get a thought straight, when words were almost being sucked out of him. Why did his insane disciple of a troublemaker have to take his words so literally? _Troublesome! _His toned legs were tensing instinctively, toes curling into the ground as if to gain momentum for a backlash, hands clenching into fists and his upper part of the body jolting up. But Hidan strongly cupped his hip with his big hands, holding him down, thumbs tracing his hipbone, while he devotedly knelt between his thighs bowing deep to put those troublesomely sinful lips all the way over where he liked it best.

And Shikamaru just couldn't fight it.

He simply liked head. He was deprived of head. Ever since Kurenai had been trying to get pregnant, she wouldn't give anymore, so he wouldn't waste sperm like that - and that was years ago. He knew she was right and he had been hoping, no, longing for an adorable little baby girl just as much as she had... But he still missed head.

In an instant his body was on hellfire, all the more that he knew, it was not his wife but his disciple causing him to quickly harden inside that deliciously hot and wet mouth, giving him finally what he wanted! So, he involuntarily moaned, shutting his eyes tightly at the overwhelming dark sensation coiling and uncoiling inside him and he let it happen.

Shikamaru could very much feel, Hidan was not quite experienced doing this sort of thing - and he would have been surprised, if that had been the case! But those slightly clumsy kisses on his shaft and balls, those curious laps and licks at his glans with just that bit of a flick, those soft yet manly lips sliding over his skin as if saying a prayer while sucking him in! They had just the right amount of fervour and passion to drive him almost insane, to have his body shaking with hot sparks of desire, bucking up ever so slightly when Hidan did quite _perfectly_.

"Oh! This is-...hnnn! Do that again! I'm almost-...", he half whispered, half moaned. And Hidan willingly complied with a grunt that vibrated right through his groins.

It was like another mad dream, his shrewd mind playing a wicked trick on him. But at the same time he felt it was real, for his brain was almost short circuiting and so happily succumbing to pleasure, it couldn't have concocted this wonderful trouble. Even though his vast imagination had a big say when it came to lust and usually helped it to skyrocket. But this time, it was all Hidan's doing (and his deprivation) that had him going. He did not need additional pictures, at all. His nads were already tensing in anticipation, preparing to release, while his follower was bobbing, circling his lips tighter around his slick shaft so his teeth were scratching over the sensitive skin just _so-_...

And how could he possibly last any longer!

With the force of a hurricane he was suddenly there, faster than he could have warned his follower, groaning out, as tsunamis of pleasure roared down his spine and through his body in searing dark waves and left him in hot squirts, while he still rode on their tide gasping for air and his heart thundering a mile a minute. In the back of his mind Shikamaru registered Hidan making a muffled, surprised noise, but he didn't flinch.

Still very much overwhelmed he reached for the older man and pulled him up. "Seriously, Hidan. You're so...troublesome...", he huffed, slinging his arm around Hidan's neck and shoulder and leaning his forehead against the nape of his neck, but his lips slightly curled into a smile. He could smell his unique scent and hear his quick paced heartbeat from this close. "But thank you...", he murmured.

At least, he had not entirely (unintentionally, but still) abused his role of a 'deity' and his disciple's loyalty and devotion to him and forced himself onto his follower: against his thigh he could feel Hidan evidently was just as excited as he had been seconds ago, a huge boner poking through his pants and the other body involuntarily writhing ever so slightly whenever their bodies were connecting down there.

Shikamaru sighed deeply.

He did not know if he was willing or ready to go down that road, with Hidan no less, and return the gesture in due kind. Or even beyond that. But there was something else, he indeed could do for him... "Here's a Commandment to my so very loyal first disciple: '_Give, and you shall be given_!'", he stated seriously, but smirked mischievously at Hidan, who soon afterwards let out a quite perplexed yelp.


End file.
